The increase of my waist line and numbers on the scale are alarming.
Ok fine, I might not be fat yet the increment is enough to make me worried and google for methods of being fit.
Please do not compare my body to you, I mean I hate it when people say “Kalau kau gemuk aku ni apa?”. Do I fucking care how your body look like? I don’t.
I just want to make sure I don’t end up like I used to be masa sekolah and after form 5.
Which was miserable, unattractive, bitter [although I am still bitter haha] with super low self esteem.
Even the person who cakap tak kesah la aku macamna pon has given me subtle hint such as “kalau puasa tak boleh makan banyak during buka ok?” or even “diet ok love?” whenever he can.
Tapi masalahnya dia jugakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk yang suka nak suggest makan setap-setap especially bila dia tahu aku moody.
Sometimes dia tak ajak tapi aku yang ajak, dengan alasan
“Every time I am with you, my appetite always membuak-buak coz I am very happy. So how lah?”
Ini adalah alasan terbaik untuk makannnnnnnnn. Benar ke tipu statement kemudian itu belakang kira. Haha
I am trying to diet but it seems that dieting is not working for me. I would work for 1 or 2 months but after that.. my body will crave for sugar, for cheese for pizza and whatever crap yang wujudlah.
Nyammm
Kalau tak dapay I will have mood swingslah, headachelah, nak pitamlah. Eeeee mengada betulla kau ni chics.
And come to think of it, tah tah besok aku mati ke, lumpuh ke , sakit ke dahh tak dapat makan. So why the diet?
Haha, ye this is a denial cum loser lunatic talking.
The truth is, I am on the verge on a depression right now.
Before you tell me to chill or relax, stop. Mungkin kau depress bila boyfriend or husband kau keluar dengan kawan sampai malam call pun tidak, but my depression for now is different.
I need to get back in shape. Tapi macam gagal hence the carutan yang ada di dalam kamus mahupun yang takde.
And I am thisssss* thumb and jari telunjuk touching each other* close to inquire about premium beautiful.
I am coaxing myself to go for pilates class, from my reading it can help to tone up my body and maybe shed some fat along the way.
Cumaaa untuk orang yang pekaa dan fail bab coordination ini adalah sedikit payah.
Bila dia cakap kanan aku buat kiri, bila dia bagi arahan dari arah yang aku tak boleh nampak aku tak boleh nak catch up.
Benak betulla.
Still, I am determined to go walaupunnn badan aku keras macam kayu tak boleh nak ikut arahan. Tapi lama-lama mesti lembut.. kan?kan?
Sangatlah sedih bila aku tengok dekat cermin masa kelas, peha akulah yang paling kentaki fried chicken sekali, sungguh tembam.
Seriously, aku dah tak tahu apa nak buat dengan peha aku ni.
Tologlah bagi aku kuasa ajaib, transfer lemak dekat peha and bontot pergi ke tetek.
Boleh takkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk?
