emo

This is unusual – I am stripping the vulnerable side of me but if I don’t do this, I probably would have a breakdown. You are warned – this entry is full or cursing.

I am sorry if you feel annoyed reading this but I have no choice, I have no one to talk to.

I am so tired, my head is throbbing my eyes are so pedih. Yet I cannot sleep. Whenever I try to close my eyes, either my head or my heart would not allow me.

Too many things in my head – things to do, things that cannot be undone. And my heart, I don’t know how to explain it.

I need to talk to someone but who? I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, other people have their own problem too.

And I haven’t uttered a single word to anyone except to my cats who probably didn’t understand anyway. Plus they are busy hissing at each other.

And this fucking stupid broadband provider are just being motherfucking assholes for the past few weeks. I have some research to carry out and it is almost impossible to access any journals with such slow connection.

Pray that my mood will get better tomorrow because I am sure going to go all out menaga tomorrow, cursing included. Pegila mati dengan courtesy, aku ni dah sangatla bersabar. I cannot get my work done and that is fucking annoying.

This is the time when I wish I have a twin or at least and older sister who I can talk to. Who will not judge, who will just listen and understand me.

Now, how should I write it down to feel better?

I really want to and I know I need to but can I trust you?

Continued few hours later:-

I feel better. Slightly ¹

Thank you for those who dropped simple yet meaningful messages on twitter and also on YM – walaupun borak-borak biasa sahaja.

I don’t need to mention names, you know who you are.

It helped.

Tagged as: emo

{ Comments on this entry are closed }