Random

1. I saw tiger woods saying sorry, is he? I think he is sorry for the fact that tetibe dia di keji, not really sorry for dipping his magic mushroom everywhere.
2. Had supper with tetek at paparich Taipan. Memang paparich betullakan, bil malam tu RM 100+. Isn’t kopitiam suppose to be cheap?
3. Met Tini yang kurindui, but she has less getikness in her. But I was happy . Lagi best kalau semua orang ada
4. Liverpool kalah lagi, as usual akan diejek. Which menyebabkan aku tak paham lah, asal ada team kalah bola je nak ejek lelebih.Bukan tak boleh, adatla kalau kalah jadi bahan tapi kalau dah poyyy tahap maksima rasa macam WTF ok?

Even masa liverpool menang dulu kan, ada sorang minah ni wahhh kemain nak ejek team yang kalah dekat fb which made me bingit. Aku pon suka jugakla Liverpool menang tapi kau jangan poyo boleh? Aku komfem kau nak tendang bola pon bukan reti sangat. Sikit-sikit sudahla.

I mean, adatla nak gloat sesikit tapi kalau dah macam kau pulak yang macam passing bola kearah kemenangan apahal?

5. I have jerawat-jerawat yang gatal.Dahla buruk, gatal pulak.

Tak suka ok.

6. I want to buy a hair iron. Tapi harga dia RM600 termasuk posting dan yang paling cibai sekali dia tak hantar dekat Malaysia.

Kenapalah aku tak terpikir nak beli benda tu masa Jolie still ada dekat sana?

7. I hate whisker woods sebab dahla susah nak tangkap mouse yang aku nak [silth] lepas tu rating pon lambat naik.

Hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

8. Sakit otak sebab besok bukan hari Sabtu.

Ok dah tata.

Here we go again. Saturday [or is it Sunday?] night and all alone.

Well, literally I am, somebody is sleeping since petang, so yeah I am all alone.

Otak aku kusut dan letih maybe. Letih trying to make things better tapi still tak ok. Letih tu boleh jadi marah dan frustrated.

Bukan aku tak try, aku try tapi dalam keletihan aku ni, bila ada time free, I would also like to unwind and have my own time. It’s not that I don’t give my time at all for other stuff, I did.

You know my feet is swollen sebab aku berjalan banyak sangat and melecet. Tetibe aku macam ibu mengandung. Perut besar checked, kaki bengkak checked, tetek besar..err unchecked?

Ok silap, maybe that’s not the right persamaan but my point is, kaki aku bengkak despite aku pakai flats.

Bloody hell, susahla pulak nak cakaapp the real point.

I am fucking tiredddddddddddddddddddddddd. Physically and mentally.

Untuk budak mengada + gedik macam aku, I cannot take it. So I want my rest.

Yet I know I have to give my time for other things too and I tried. I did and I even canceled my plan, although half heartedly, I still did sebab bila aku pikir balik, takpelah kot.

Tapi it is still not enough. I mean, I cannot help feeling half-heartedlylah ok. I was hoping to do something for myself after I allocated some time to do other stuff, kira macam oklah, lepas dah buat apa yang patut nakla buat something for myself. Really looking forward to it tapi tiba-tiba di suruh cancel, of courselah aku sedikit rasa sedih kan? Sedih tapi takpe, aku rela la lepaskan.

But still aku jugak yang salah. Sebab sepatutnya aku tak boleh half heartedly.

Tak suka betul when you are trying to make an effort and then got cut just like that.

Perasaannnya adalah macam cibai.

Haih.

So there goes my mood.

I planned to cook laksa johor tomorrow – cancelled.

I am supposed to lepak with tetek kejap lagi, aku ingat nak cancel tapi nasib baik Tini came all the way from Terengganu so I’ll drag myself. Lagipun dah lama tak jumpa.

Fuckla. Swirly, apsal kau tido? Kan aku dah pergi type semua benda ni. Sheesh

Since I was small, I love watching malay movies. Kalau masa sekolah pagi, petang tu balik mesti nak bukak tv, sebab rtm always aired cerita melayu dalam pukul 2 ke 3 macam tu. Sangatlah layan eventhough kadang-kadang cerita dia tah apa apa je pun.

Therefore, adalah turut meminati beberapa pelakon lelaki melayu.

Ehem.

Ini bukan setakat minat gitu-gitu je, ni minat yang macamm ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sukanyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nak tak kawen dengan akuuuuuuuuuu? Ok rasa nak kwen ni bila dah besar sikitla, dalam lepas sekolah macam gitu [wahh motif nak sexplain?]. Sebab kalau setakat minat-minat biasa tu banyak je. Ni yang minat luarbiasa [apakah?]

1. Shah Rezza



Tetibe jadi polisla pulak kannnnn.

Ok, actually I have forgotten his name, yang aku ingat adalah muka jambu dan bibir merah. So I asked on twitter, siapala nama dia ni and everyone who responded got the name correctly

Jambu okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, dahla cute pulak tu, kulit adalah putih bersih. Camanalah aku tak sukaaaa? Especially dalam ali setan, sangat kiut!

2. Azmil Mustafa



Ini semua penangan ali setan. Masa tengok memula tu berkobar tuuu nak masuk u [poyo gila], tapi bila dah masuk. Hoh takde pon bestnye, malas ada.

I also love him in mekanik and suara kekasih. Sobs ok suara kekasih, sangat sedih.

So what do I like about him?

His persona I would say. The fact that dia boleh berlakon bongok, romantik and serious dalam satu movie. I love that and it’s not over the top unlike many actors and actress in Malaysia.

And come onnnnnnn, siapa tak suka ali setannn?

On the other not, muka dia ada sikit macam fahimi hehehe.

3. Nordin Ahmad



Sigh.

I’ve fallen for him lonnnnng time ago. I still remember how emak used to teased me sebab masa tu aku kecik lagi and aku tanya emak

“Emak, dia hemsem kan?”

To me he is.

And bila tengok dia berlakon, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh chentaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Sangat macho dan kelakian ok.

How to say ah? These days banyak pelakon yang agak kurang terserlah kelakiannya, maybe their masculinity are being camouflaged by what they like to call themselves – metrosexual. If you see Nordin Ahmad acts, you can see he’s so macho walaupun dalam babak berchenta.

I know I used to like metrosexual guy but I guess I like masculine guy even more.

There’s a plus point for him. He’s loyal despite his fame.

Here is one of the clippings that I have came across. If you want more, you can google la. mana tah link dia.

So yeah, those are three pelakon lelaki yang I like, until now. Pelakon sekarang ada jugak tapi seminggu dua je lepas tu macam forgettable.

Ok dah tuje, you bunnies have a merry weekend okies?

In our life, we always stumble upon different characters of people and among them mesti ada pernah terjumpa jenis manusia yang weird. Or the type yang tidak disukai by other people because of their quirkyness.

Maybe it’s the way they dress, the way they communicate, the type of story that they told. It could be anything but the keyword here is – weirdo.

At the place where I am typing this, there is a person who can be considered as weird.  When you talk to her, she will conquer most of the conversations and some times her words does not make any sense; sometimes she dress inappropriately; some people said she snapped at them sometimes [although it has never happened to me before], they way she talks and some other quirky-nesslah.

In the beginning, I tend to get annoyed especially when she seems to forget when to stop [as iflah aku ni pendiamkan haha] yet until this day, we still remain friends.

I can say that not many like her but somehow I do. Before me, she will always go makan alone because she’s a loner and the fact that nobody wants to ajak her.  Kadang-kadang aku tak larat jugak nak dengar dia punya cerita tapi despite her quirky-ness, she is such a great friend and her friendliness appears genuine to me.

You know sometimes, when you befriended someone, somehow deep inside you, you feel like saying ‘bluerghhhhhhh’ walaupun orang tu nampak best.

She’s not one of them.

I’ve known this fact dari dulu cuma these few weeks adalah sangat terasa. Ok, these past few weeks aku adalah sangat stress. I have to deal with something that involved directly with VVIP, which kalau aku screw up, aku mati [sebenarnya aku agak mati but let's not go there].

And being a menggelupur person, of courselaaaaahhhhhh aku menggelupur nak mati. I am so tensed that I did not allow my mind and body to rest.

I think everybody knewlah just that she took the effort to make me feel better.

Sometimes I told her my worries, dalam dia banyak cakap tu, she will take time to listen to me and I know she is really listening, Not like sometimes when you tell people something, they just listen because they have to, you know what I mean?

And then, every single morning and night, she will sms me saying that she believed in me, I can do it, she will pray for me and other motivational words.

It is common to hear thing things from your parents, husband, siblings or close friend but when it comes from someone that you just mingle with for about few hours, it really touched me.

There was this night when I broke down and cry when her sms came in, it made me cry harder sebab aku sebaklah knowing someone who don’t really know me  could have some love and support for someone she barely knew. But at the same time, I feel.. appreciated, maybe.

I am not an angel [haha macamlah orang tak tahu, chics], aku ni bolehlah dikategorikan sebagai kak nam terulung but when people talked bad or complainted about her I cannot help from defending her.

Bukan dengan aku jela dia buat baik, karang korang cakap dia ada cruch dekat aku pulak [haha apakahhhhhhh?] she did nice things to other people also cuma orang je yang tak nampak kot. Terblind dengan appearance dia and dengan cerita-cerita dari orang lain mungkin.

Ok, maybe she was rude to some people, but maybe jugak those people did not try understand her or even accept her just because she is different. Make sense kan?

Walaupun aku baru berumur 30 tahun . Baruuuuuuuuuuu? What do you mean by baruu chicsssssssss?

Shadaplah.

What I am trying to say is, what is the wisdom of a 30-year old woman[sobs] compared to others yang dah banyak experience kan?

Ok, ok. Walaupon aku baru berumur 30 tahun, I came to a point where I don’t give a fuck about who you are, where you come from, whether or not your tetek bersalut emas or you drive a car yang diperbuat dari permata. Because all of that are superficial.

I have met those who claimed and appear to be so great. Appear onlylah tapi the truth is adalah contradicting.

What I am trying to say is, look beneath the layer. People like her, is often misunderstood. Don’t you think so?

I don’t know how I feel now.

It just quite difficult to describe but the feeling is more or less towards hollow + exhausted + hopeful and maybe a little bit of lonely.

I crave for attention but sometimes when I tend to shut them of when it was given to me. Right now, I wish I could talk to someone. No, talking is not the right word because all the words that might come out from my mouth may not seem right.

I wish someone could dive into my heart and feel everything. It’s like my heart is beating but the rhythm is disturbed by some other noises.

No, it’s not love that I am lacking of. At this point the love that was given to me is more than enough.

It is a relief when I came home crying in the middle of the night and to find someone waiting at the door to hug me. It is a relief when there is someone who kiss my forehead as I wet my pillow and tell me everything will be alright.

So it’s not love.

It’s something else.

I wish I know what it is.

Lately, I don’t have much time to spend for myself, leave alone for my family. So it was expected that emak sort of kecik hati with me because I cannot do stuff for her and spend my time with her. I wanted to but I am just too tired most of the time, really. Too tired to even listen to myself talking.

Few days ago after hati dia dah sejuk, I spent the night with her, despite I have to rush in the morning and settle some stuff before going to bed. When I was at her house I noticed her arm was bersangkut, ala macam kalau tangan patah tu kan kene pakai supportkan.

I asked her why, she said her tangan sakit-sakit. She was not really into talking that time, sisa merajuk was still there I guess.

Yesterday I went again, since I left my house key there and I wanted to borak-borak with her. We borak-borak for a while when she told me, not to go home first, tolong emak sapu ubat, she said.

When it’s time to sapu ubat, she handed me a bowl of her campuran ‘ubat’ and changed into kain batik, so it will be easier for me to sapu her ubat.

That is when I saw the bruises. They seemed so familiar, just like last time.

I asked her, apa tu emak? She said, oh tula tangan mak sakit, tak baik lagi.

And right there, I felt like there’s a lump in my throat. Sebak dan hiba rasanya.

As I sapu the ubat to her body, I can feel how smooth her skin was, just like last time. Just that I forgot one thing, my emak is not getting younger. In fact the uban on her head told otherwise.

I really felt like crying. Where was I all this while? Mesti malam-malam tangan dia bisa sangat, tapi kesian takde sape nak tengok. She must have felt as of nobody cares about her. Macamana kalau aku takde, siapa nak sapukan ubat?

After that she told me that she booked a chalet for all of us to spent the night together, I was excited but my heart fell when I saw the date. I don’t think I could make it, I had to be somewhere else for something else. Yet I did not tell her. I just cannot. Tak sampai hati. How can I lah?

I managed to hold my tears while I was there, I tried so hard that I have to blink more frequent that I used to.

But in the car, I cannot control them anymore.

I don’t know. I feel so..bad..so scared..so helpless.

And cannot help to ask my self, am I a bad daughter?

Hai nama saya chics. Awak semua nak dengar satu cerita poyo tak? Pasal siapa lagi, pasal sayalah. Hehe

Saya adalah tak pernah beli cd, samada yang ori ataupon cetak rompak. Ini adalah saya berkata  tentang  cd lagu ye, bukan cd cerita [apala bahasa berbelit]. Selalunya adalah download sahaja sebab saya adalah kedekut dan cas IT savvy [cue poyo bermula].

Tapi semalam saya sudah memecahkan dara tidak membeli cd lagu, asalnya dah lama teringin nak beli cd lagu ni sebab tergoda melihat iklan di tv.

Tapi adalah malu hendak membagi tahu disini.

Kerana CD itu adalahh..adalahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. adalahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Cinta 101!

Tapi bila pikir balik, apa motif saya nak malu? Saya memang chenta rock kangkang dan lagu leleh sebelum era milenium [apakah?]. Lantakla orang nak cakap saya geng hail amir dengan uji rashid ke apa pun sebab memang betul pun hehe.

Mula-mula saya tak nak beli sebab harga dia adalah RM50.90, sebagai pentaik hidung masin adalah rasa hohhhhh mahal gila aku nak beli CD sampai 50 inggitttt, but then tukang bawak kereta cakap

“Baik kamu belilah, murah kan 5 cd RM 50 sahaja” [sila baca dalam bahasa baku]

Ok, sebenarnya dia tak cakap bahasa melayu tapi sebab kita sedang membicarakan tentang cinta 101, jadi saya translate apa yangdia cakap ke bahasa melayu dengan cara percakapan dia.

Jadi saya pun terfikir, yelah betulla cakap dia ini, adalah tidak rugi sebab 5 cd kan.

teball, ok mungkin tak nampak tapi tak apalah

Lagipun ada lagu-lagu dia yang saya sukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sangat iaitu

• Dua insan bercinta – Ella
• Milik siapakah gadis ini – Dato’ Sudirman [bila masala plak dapat dato' ni? Seres tak tahu]
• Mawarku  – Eddie dan Hamidah Hamid
• Sekadar Di Pinggiran – Frencissca Peter
• Bisikanlah – Anita Sarawak
• Antara Anyir dan Jakarata – Datuk Sheila Majid
• Kau Ilhamku – Man Bai [kesukaan![favourite]

Eh banyak lagilah, adalah penat tangan saya nak menulis, tapi yang dekat atas ni palinggg sukaaaa.

Adalah sangat poyo lepas beli cd rasa bangga gila dan rasa nak lompat-lompat. Bila fikir semula rasa nak lempang diri sendiri pon ada hehe. Sampai ada orang berkata

“Poyo gila anda, beli cd pun nak blog”

Nasib baik pencakap itu adalah membawak kereta kalau tidak mungkin akan di apa-apakan atau di anu-anukan [apakahhh?]

Tapi saya adalah tetap gembira, sebab adalah boleh feeling sambil bawak kereta

Yeay!

Bunnies!

Siapa sini lecturer MMU Cyberjaya?

I need your helplah.

Leave a comment or email me can?

Thank youuuu

I watched Up in the Air last night. It was brilliant  but I am not going to write about the movie, except for aku tak pernah suka hero tua because old hero turn me off tapi George Clooney adalah exceptional. Sungguh berkarismaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Anyway.

While trying to sleep I was thinking about the movie. Katalah aku berkerja kan dan diberhentikan secara tiba-tiba, will I get piss? They are two answers.

I will get extremely piss if I know I have given my best and people also know the fact that I am doing a good job. Dan tiba-tiba aku kene fired. Especially scumbags yang makan gaji buta still have their jobs.

But I won’t get piss kalau aku sendiri tahu aku tak boleh perform, memang bengap tak reti buat kerja. Itu kalau orang nak sack aku tak boleh buat apalah.

Watching that movie made me scared, ramai yang kene fired in the movie cried thinking of their commitments – family, kids, house loan, car loan which is normal. It made me rethink of all the thing that I want. I mean let say I buy a posh car a nice house and suddenly this thing hit me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then?

Itu satu, satu lagi this movie reminded of something that my ex-boss said

“A job is just a job, the worst thing that could happen is you get fired but family and life are another different thing that cannot be compromised”

Which is true , I have met many people who put their work as their priority rather than family/life. Tiap-taip hari pergi kerja, balik lambat, weekends pon kerja, festive season pon kerja.

Yes money is important, I agree but I there are other things that are more important. Yet sadly, how many of us realised that?

If you don’t get what I mean or perhaps have a different opinion, try to watch this movie. Aku macam tersentak and macam biasa termenangis. Heh.

Do you know the feeling of aku-akan-kene maki-tak-lama-lagi? I have that feeling now. The worst thing is, benda yang bakal nak kene maki tu is beyond my control tapi tetapppplah taik dan menyebabkan aku akan kene maki.

Tula kau Chicas, suka sangat maki orang, kan dah kono. Fuckla, I guess I just have to deal with it.

Anyway, few weeks ago while waiting for teteks for our monthly meet at BSC, aku telah masuk satu kedai perfume- annick gountal and telah terfall in love with one of  their perfume which I prefer not to sebut nama sebab nanti ada orang beli aku tak suka. Haha evil laugh + poyo. Macam sial je perangai kau ni kan, memang patut nak kene maki.

Ok, focus. Back to the perfume story, masa dia spray dekat atas perfume paper tu adalah rasa biasa dan tidak tertarik especially when the promoter say “this is our best-seller”. Bencilah best seller ni, nanti pergi mana-mana bau sama je. So I told him I’ll think about it and walked away.

One of the perfume yang botol dia chantek

Tapi kan sukalah perfume dia sebab ada botol yang chantek-chantek, yang lain tu ada botol biasa but with it’s own trademark- meaning semua perfume, botol dia sama je bau and colour je lain, which I like.

Tapi bila sampai rumah aku bukak beg, bau harum semerbak. Oh myyy sedapnya bau, not sexy but fun and feminine. I don’t like sexy smell sebab aku tak seksi tapi aku suka bau fun,. fresh and feminine. Wah fun ke aku? Hehe thanks not the point, don’t stray.

So I decided to look for it online dekat kedai yang aku biasa beli tapi takdelah pulakkkkkkkk. Bau lain ada tapi bau yang aku nak tu takde

Disebabkan I am so desperate to buy a perfume, I bought one of my usual ones je. Yelahkan kalau nak beli baru tah hape tah bau dia karang plus I only wear certain perfumes.

Sebab apa tau, kadang-kadang aku concius bila angkat ketiak bau hangit, eh bau aku ke? Walaupunnn aku rasa ketiak aku bau 5 langakh nak ke syurga [haha] tapi tetappp berasa concious despite dah pakai deodorant, maybe sebab terlari-lari ke sana ke mari and kene berpanas kadang-kadang.

Plus I have a cocktail dinner [or something like that] yang aku akan kene terlari-lari, kejilah ok tetibe bau busuk. Hmm tapi kan aku rasa tak sempatlah pasal delivery dia adalah 7-10 days and dinner tu adalah jumaat ini.

Hehe *gelak nervous.