Menggelupur


Happy mood walaupun vijayjay panas

by chics on Tuesday, 29 November 2011 - 8 am · 6 comments

in 18 sx,beauty,feminism,Menggelupur

Today I went for waxing.

Brazilian.

Honestly I do not understand kenapa aku merelakan diri aku di wax di vijayjay.

Every time bila aku sampai dekat tempat waxing tu without fail I will question my decision. Macamla tak boleh trim je kan? Yang aku merelakan vijayjay di sapu wax panas dan kemudian di rentap tu kenapaaaaaaaaaaaa?

 

Wax tu panas ok, just imagine kegulupurannya bila benda panas di sapu di situ. Itu satu kemudiannnn zrass zrass zapppppp.

Tapi nasib baiklah kali ni dia pakai hard wax, bukan soft wax yang dia tarik pakai cloth tu. Yang itu lagila hazab. Jadi less sakit. Tapi dalam kurang sakit pun, terangkatlah punggung sambil mengigit jari.

Amoi tu siap cakap

“You aa, kena buat every month tau, baru tak sakitt”

Sambil dia menarik wax dengan penuh penghayatan.

 

Every month?

Boleh tu boleh tapi aku takut vijayjay aku trauma, dahla kena titis dengan lilin panas lepas tu kena cabut bulu pulak. Aduhhh tak ke trauma?

 

But, the end result adalah memuaskan, kulit adalah selembut bayi haha.

Ok tipu, tapi rasa lebih ringan dan terasa umpama diri bersinar. Feeling dia lain dari trim.

 

Boleh menyebabkan hati berlagu riang satu hari.

 

Riang takkkkk?

 

Just that I wonder, apakah perasaan waxer itu terpaksa melihat cipap yang tidak tahu bilangannya setiap hari? Sungguh kesian aku rasa.

 

Lepas tu kalau nak isi borang bahasa melayu

 

Pekerjaan: Pencabut bulu.

 

Apakahhhhhhhh?

 

 

 Tips: Wait until one week after your menses to go for brazilian, not before and not after menses. This time, vijayjay area adalah less sensitive [one week after].

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Cuckoo

by chics on Thursday, 13 October 2011 - 9 am · 10 comments

in Menggelupur

My mother in law was in town yesterday for some business and we decided to have lunch with my sister in law [who always make me feel so ugly because she is pretty!] at Madam Kwan’s Midvalley.

As usual I drove both of us there and headed to the restuarant so we could see what’s on the menu while waiting for my sister in law to come.

 

As soon as stepped onto the escalator, I could not help looking at my feet. Dah macam habit kot, naik escalator mesti nak pandang bawah before stepping into the moving tangga [tangga?]. Ye lah takut tersilap landed and got stuck in between.

Horror.

Tapi that did not happen. Instead I was horrified by something else.

 

OMGgggggggggggggggggg!

Aku pakai kasut sebelah lainnn. Dahla kaler dia lain gilaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

The moment I found out, I told my mother in law and she gave me a shocked face. Tapi lepas tu dia buat muka cool and said, nevermindlah, nobody will notice. Beserta ayat pujukan yang lain.

But I cannot help laughing all the way from the escalator to the restaurant.

 

When my sister in law came, I asked her to look at my shoes, perhaps she was thinking that I want to show her my new shoes but the monet she took a look at them dia gelakkan aku sambil mengeluarkan telefon dan mengambik gambar.

“Darlingggggg, what were you thinkinggg? Hahaha”

Cis. Somehow I knew she would enjoy it.

 

Anyway, I decided to wear the shoes despite their obvious differences sebab aku malas nak pergi dekat kereta and tukar kasut. Pegila mampus kalau orang nak pandang pun, macamlah aku kesah.

In fact aku rasa takde orang perasan pun, unless kerja kau tengok kasut orang atau you are a foot fetish.

Lama-lama aku rasa ok, rasa macam takde apa-apa berlaku

 

But as I was trying shoes at Robinsons, seorang salesgirl menegur

“Kak, akak terlupa nak pakai kasut akak balik lagi sebelah masa try kasut tadi”

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

Kan dah ada orang tegur.

Kenapa kau tegurrrrrrrrrrrrrr?

Kenapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

 

So nak tak nak, I had to tell her or else aku akan di tuduh cuba mencuri sebelah kasut.

 

“Oh takde dik, akak memang tersilap pakai kasut ni, sebelah dia memang terpakai lain”

 

What kind of idiot would say those thinggggggggggggs? Lagi terasa bangang bila budah itu menjawab

 

“Takpe kak, fesyen”

Sambil tersengih-sengih serba salah. Serba salah sebab dia tertegur aku, sengih sebab ada jugakla customer yang bangang macam ni.

 

Haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

 

Tapi itulah dia, dah nama pun chicsinred.

Sigh.

 

 

 

 

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Hadiah untuk kakak

by chics on Wednesday, 22 June 2011 - 12 am · 19 comments

in creepy,Menggelupur,Pets

I am typing this entry dengan penuh rasa ketakutan because the cats adalah menggila mengejar seekor cencurut yang tercedera.

Cencurut hiasan sahaja.

 

Siang tadi I heard Ella and Ah Beng fight over something, rupanya di mulut Ella ada cencurut. Tak lama lepas tu, cencurut tu hilang so I thought mungkin dah di bawa keluar or she had eaten it [ew?].

But, when I wanted to take my shower, I noticed something grey in between two railings in the kitchen. Ahh sudahh, aku macam dah agak apa bendanya, when I came closer, sahhh that cencurut. Lying motionless, mungkin dah mati.

This is the part that I hate, membuang bangkai binatang.

But I had to do it since there is no one else in this house except me. So I took the garbage bag and using a plastic bag, I reached for that cencurut

Tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Tiba-tiba dia, bergerakkk, mendecit lalu berlari-lari seketika sebelum berhenti berehat.

Celakalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, hidup lagi rupanyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Trauma kejap aku.

Aku biarkan dia dulu dengan hati risau

a) Is he in pain? He must be, gigi kucing agak berbisa so kesan gigitan mesti rasa sangat berbisa. Poor thing :(

b) Mesti dia akan mati slowly dan besok mesti bau busuk. Dannnnnn mesti akuuuu yang nak kene kutip. Arghhhhhhh

Aku ingatkan dia dah tak bergerak dari spot tu dah but like I wrote earlier sekarang kucing aku tengah gila main kejar-kejar.

 

Ella was the culprit and has always been the culprit. Few weeks ago, tangkap burung, sebelum itu tikus dekat luar, and then cicak besar yang sangat weird rupanya, cicak kecik and entah apa lagi.

She will play with them, torture them dan kemudian tinggal dan akulah pencacai yang akan terpaksa melangsaikan kesemuanya.

Chebai.

Jadi aku telah mengadu kepada swirly akan perilaku kucing-kucing kami, swirly  ketawa-ketawa sambil berkata

“Ohh, she just want to give some presents to you”

Presents? Presentttttttsssss?

At then I remembered a comic by the oatmeal yang bertajuk How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.

Focus at "bringing you dead animal"

Bukan gift katanya tapi warning.

Hahah, adakah Ella cuba memberi aku warning?

Are our cats plotting to kill me?

To think of it, Ah Beng tiap-taip malam buat salah satu yang di tulis dalam senarai ini.

Tiap-tiap malam itulah kerja dia, adakah dia sedang mengecek mana-mana internal organ aku yang lemah untuk di serang kemudian hari?

Oh no. Hehe [wahh gelak pulak, tak takut ye?]

You should read that comic, sangat kelakar dan comel juga.

 

Tapi decitan cencurut yang masih kedengaran ini tak comel. Aku harap dia tak mati di tempat yang tersorok or else I will have a biggg problem locating the dead body dan terpaksa berpandukan bau bangkai.

Yucks.

Oh cats, whyyyy? Why can’t you do all this presents or threat or whatever when abang is around?

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

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