keji thought

Is it a myth?

by chics on Thursday, 15 January 2009 - 12 pm · 18 comments

in I don't know,keji thought,nostalgia

I have a big bottom. Big butt, big thighs and big calves. In fact all my cousins have it. The truth is I feel jealous towards those who have slender bottom. Not to say slenderla tapi less berlemak and less gemuk than mine. Seksa nak cari seluar. Kalau dulu bab peha, bontot komfemm macam nak meletup tapi bila sampang pinggang loose habis. Tapi sekaranggggggggggg..semua macam nak meletup haha [gelak dalam depress].

So not balance you know, atas kecik tapi bawah besar, macam penguin ye, nasib aku jalan tak terkangkang-kangkang macam penguin. Kalau tak, soheh.

Apart from genetics, I always wonder adakah amalan aku masa sekolah dulu menyumbang kepada bahagian bawah yang besar. Maybe it was just a myth but I can’t help wondering whether or not it is actually true. Dulu masa sekolah, we have this riadah every alternate sunday where we have to wake up early and right after subuh prayer akan berlari mengelilingi quaters sekolah. I bloody hate it because I just hate running and I loveeee to tidur sampai hari dah terang hehe. But sadly that’s not going to happen if you live in hostel yang penuh dengan disiplin [tapi lihatlah hasilnya sekarang hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa].

Anyway, lepas dah separuh mati menghabiskan larian I would definitely want to let my buttocks rest on any surface tapi mesti akan ada orang tegur

“Chics, lepas lari or exercise jangan dudukla, nanti bontot kau besar!”

And that time I was like, takdenye bontot aku nak besar derr. Tengokla badan aku ramping dan lidi. Hoh! Lalu dengan eksyennya duduk dan menunggu na kbreakfast.

And I keep doing that, by that I mean duduk dan kadang-kadang baring lepas berlari atau bermain permainan seperti baling selipar, main getah atau anak ayam dikejar musang. Layan okkkkk!

Dan sekarang, kau terimalah akibatnya budak degilllllllllllllllllllll. Bukan sahaja bontot aku besar, malah kelihatan cottage cheese tersusun pula :( . Gila susah nak hilangkan. Nak je aku pergi slimming center, offer pon dah terbuka luas tapi disebabkan aku rasa aku bukanlah tahap kronik sampai nak pegi slimming center dan menghabiskan ribu-ribu yang lagi elok kalau aku beli kasut, belanja mak makan dan sebagainya, baik aku berusaha sendiri. Cewahh ayatt.

Cakap je lebih, baru buat lunges 10 kali dah menyumpah-nyumpah. Tapi tula masa tengah berpeluh-peluh mengexercise atau ber-brisk walk aku selalu menyesali diri.

Apsalla dulu aku suka duduk lepas senaman.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee[sila baca dengan nada geram bukan keji]

Tapi tula bak kata sang kancil dalam cerita monyet dan kancil, sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tidak berguna.

Aku ni ibarat monyet tula “Aku nak buah tu, aku nak buah tu. Aku nakkkkkkkkkkkk juga”

Ha. Ambikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

18 comments

Got me

by chics on Friday, 19 December 2008 - 10 am · 12 comments

in keji thought,life,outing

During our berkelah trip, there was a chinese family who were also there earlier. Initially we saw them in the car while driving to the air terjun. My bedmate was so kiasu that he told me “We must hurry, or else they will take the best spot” hence rushed his step to the waterfall. Bukit betulla kau ni kan, pasal kau aku ni ha macam nak mati naik tangga, nasib baik kau suka belikan aku kasut :P .

Cerita perkenalan sebenarnya adalah panjang but that’s not really my points for today. So to cut it short, we made friends and we exchanged contact with this woman name Sally. Quite a chatterbox but a nice lady. Tapi yang malasnya dia ajak jumpa, aku bab jumpa-jumpa ni memang lemahla sikit. I was wishing that she was just saying it.

Tetapi tidak okies, few days ago she called suggesting a meet up since she will be in Shah Alam area. Oklah takpelah, apa salahnya make new acquaintance ye tak? So I made my way to one of the restaurant at SACC. After few minutes waiting, we saw her from far, with some files in her hand. Dengan pantasnya swirly berkata

“Eh, if they want to sell us insurance says that we already got our Prudential ok? And if other MLM, say we already doing also.” Insurance tu betulla tapi part MLM tu, bila kalanyalah aku ni reti nak buat MLM? At that moment aku tak terpikir lansung that she and her husband wanted to promote or sell something. I thought their intention were pure, just to hang out. Tengok betapa suci murninya aku. Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa

Few minutes after she sat down, the husband came. Terusssssssssssss bagu business card and bukak folder. Cilakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lu, memang nak promote MLM okkkkkkk. Satu produk barangan kesihatan. Siap bukak laptop tunjuuk documentari yang panjang sampai nanah dah menitik-nitik dari otak aku. Bawah meja aku dah main pijak-pijak kaki dengan swirly. Gila panjang ok documentari tu, aku rasa nak bangun dan menjerit

tak nak dengar tak nakkkkkkkk

“Sudahhh cukupp cukupp” sambil terus berlari ala-ala histeria dan pulang.

Tapi aku tak balik, yang si sengal kat sebelah aku ni bolehla pulak bertanya itu ini padahal aku tau dalam hati dia mesti macam-macam carutan cina campur english campur melayu yang tungang langgang dah kluar. Nasib baik habis the second documentary, bateri pon habis. Kalau takkkkkkkkkkkk

Aku cukup benci gila orang ajak jumpa pasal nak promote MLM or skim cepat kaya. Tak bolehla benda-benda ni. Kene carik 80 orang, lepas tu orang bawah kau kene carik lagi 80 orang, tapi yang paling celake sekali nak kene tipu-tipu sikit. Taikla.

But.

Ye ade but, somehow aku tak rasa benci with these two chinese couple. Sebab? Bukak sebab aku suka cina tapi sebab takde sekalipon diorang keluarkan kenyataan

“Mu uprain [upline] aaa, now earning 600 k you know withn 3 months. Now drive jaguar” sambil menunjukkan gambar seorang manusia berdiri pakai kot, peluh tubuh depan Jaguar. Kalau perempuan, gambar makcik pakai skarf/tudung pakai baju kurung sutera bersandar dekat Jaguar. Takpon, bukak clear folder tunjuk bank slip dengan duit dalam bank 1 trillion.

Itu tektik paling hanjeng sekali.

Dia lansung takde sebut pasal berapa duit dia dah buat, kat mana dia beli bungalow dia atau cakap “I work 9-5 very tired, still not rich maaa, might as well do this MLM right? Can relax-relaxxx”

Takde ok.

And I can see, he’s doing this thing genuinely because of health. The whole family is vegeterian for health reason not for religion reason, nak order air pon ambik masa yang lama nak tengok mana satu healthy mana satu tak. And the reason they went to the waterfall twice a month is to get rid of the negetive vibes/ion. Mungkinlah dia tipu but somehow, we can tell or notlah whether certain orang tu tipu just looking form the body language.

Takdela macam certain orang, jual produk kesihatan ni tapi tetibe pegi hisap rokok, order makanan pulak “Mamak, roti canai tiga, kari lebeh aa”. Lepas tu kau preach pasal menjaga kesihatan. Apakah?

Plus, we had a nice normal conversation after that and they look genuinely interested in our conversation. By that time all my lelehan stopped and I started to feel more comfortable when they never even once, push us to join or try to make us to come to their meetings.

He only said ” If you are interested, just look at the websitelah horr?”

And you know what, I think I will. Not to join but to look at some of their products.

They got me on that.

12 comments

Intevyew

by chics on Tuesday, 16 December 2008 - 1 pm · 20 comments

in keji thought

Just got back from an interview with a recruitment company. Working in recruitment line before it was pretty much as I expected except the accent of the interviewer.

Aku kalau bab nak faham accent orang memang fail. Hari tu ada orang tu punya officemate , the husband came from Sri Lanka and they hold a small makan-makan. Aku pergilah tapi sungguh berasa tidak mesra sebab I sort of melarikan diri from talking to the husband. Bukan apa, I really didn’t understand his accent and I didn’t want to memalukan diri sendiri atau dirinya. Even accent angmoh-angmoh pon aku tak paham ok nak naknye yang datang dari scandinavian countries. Dah tu pulak, aku ni kan pekak sikit. Lagilah kan.

Anyway, back to the interview accent die memang tak boleh blah ok, plus dia cakap laju. I had to wrinkled my forehead so many times and said “Pardon me?”, “Can you repeat?”,” Come again” dan yang seangkatan dengannya.

“The reshon you quik bekos they don give offa letta laaaaaa?”

Aku rasa dia berusaha nak cakap english dengan accent angmoh padahal accent chia die ade lagi, lalu menjadi pening. Rileksla, kalau kau dah born melayu cakap english ala melayu apa salahnya, kalau kau dah born chia cakap jela stail chia. Macam husband that girl yang from Sri Lanka tu takdela aku rasa pening sangat even tak paham sangat [yang penting aku tak rasa die keji sebab berusaha nampak best hehe]. Cuba imagine dia berusaha nak buat british accent. Aiyoh!

Am not saying my english is good and bila aku speaking semua angmoh nanges, tak. I think we all know the truth hehe. Bersimpullah jugak lidah melayu aku ni kan. Tapi, if you are working in client/customer servicing line cakap kasi jelas boleh tak?

Tsk. Tsk

Dah dah. Aku nak tido. Mengantuk. Lepas bangun kang aku nak makan maggie asam laksa.

Nyummmmmm!

————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Soalan bonanza hari Isnin: Kenapa ada Malaysian yang study/kerja dekat negeri mat salleh /angmoh bila balik tetibe english accent tukar jadi macam accent negara itu tapi takde pulak sesapa yang belaja/kerja dekat Sri Lanka, India, China dan sewaktu dengannya balik bertukar english accent ikut negara tersebut?

Really. Aku selalu wonder why.

20 comments