The reason why I loved to stay at my atuk house during school holiday was because we have lots of aunts and uncles that will entertain us, especially mak ella or mak su. She is ayah youngest sister and the gap between us were only six years . Which made us quite close. We called her mak ella but she always call herself as mak su, but today I will call her mak su rather than mak ella, just the way she liked it.
Early in the morning, mak su, me and ayie will compete to show our kehebatan dalam memakan makanan pedas [which was always cooked by mak mi].Mak su always won but my achievement is not bad either. After that, I will follow her around, main dekat tengah panas ,resulting cubit-cubit from emak. Mak su seldom got any cubit or pukul from arwah datuk because she was the most manja one. When I think about it, I always get into trouble because of following her. Crossing the busy road to buy chikadese[much to my mum dissapproval], main panjat pokok jambu lepas tu tak tahu turun and main entah hapa-hapa sampai masuk tungau.
The night time were the best. We would sit in front of the tv and juggling between watching crap and talking crap. After that we would listen to the radio for songs in pilihan bersama. Oh yes, mak su loved rock kapak and she thought me few malay rock kapak song which I still remember until today, and sometimes sing when I am alone.When it’s turn to off the light, mak su will always awed[or scared was more likely] us with her knowledge of cerita-cerita hantu.
Mak su got married early, in her late teen. That time I was already in the boarding school and our busy schedule keep us seperated. Although I have to say things between us was never the same again. We never really hang out, never compete to be the champion of pedas food but we still crap in our bahasa negeri sembilan.
And she still call me shina.
Her husband is quite a looker but he didn’t really treat her quite well. Several time I heard story from emak and relatives about mak su getting beaten and how she had to work hard to support her children since the husband is more into drugs and flirting around. She sold newspaper and deliver them to her customer every morning.
I always asked emak, how come she never tried to get out of her miserable life? Emak said, she tried so many times but some women no matter what the husband did to them, they will still love their husband unconditionally. Which to me doesn’t make sense. I told emak, everyone deserve to be happy and to gain happiness, you have to find your own way. Emak didn’t say anything. Perhaps she thought I was still young and no nothing about marriage life. Maybe emak was right.
On saturday , mak su watched raja lawak. According to mak mi, she laughed until she cried. After that she had her launch when suddenly she choked and stopped her breathing. Her husband who happened to be at home gave her cpr and brought her to the hospital quickly. From kajang hospital she was referred to serdang hospital after kajang hospital feel they are not capable to handle mak su’s case. By this time, blood were streaming out from her nose and ears.
I just came back from my group discussion when emak told me the news. Emak was non-chalant, perhaps she thought there’s nothing serious going on because mak su was so young. She was only 34. But thing get worse as the night crawl. We received phone calls and smses saying that mak su condition was critical. I called swirly man asking him to bring us to the hospital since emak can’t see that well at night and my driving license had expired.
Maybe God have another plan for mak su. Around 10.45pm, mak su passed away, leaving a husband and 4 kids. The eldest is 15 and the youngest is 4. The doctor said, there was nothing much they could do, her blood vessels exploded because of the high pressure of her blood. Mak su’s brain were badly damaged.
Ayah broke down and wept when we told him about he news on the phone. He lost his youngest sister and he could not even see her. The journey would take him more than 7 hours and he would not be in time. Even he wanted to try, emak convinced him not too for ayah himself has his own medical problem.
I. I told my self not to cry. I also told my self not to say anything to mak su’s children, who are my cousins. I don’t know, maybe it is just my style, just to leave them alone and let them think in their own space. But when I patted bedak on mak su’s face, my tears were uncontrollable. She looked so white and felt so cold. I try to blink my eyes , maybe she would wake up, laughed and said “haha, dak shina kono tipu dengan aku”. But she remained stiff.
“Ibu tidur aje” Said the youngest but shamila the sister [10 years old] was weeping and her weeps became worst when it was time to kiss mak su. She kissed her so long and so bersungguh-sungguh until all the powder got stuck on her lips. How can your heart not break seeing a child in tears knowing she won’t be seeing a mother anymore? I hugged shamila and she hugged me back.
The last time I saw mak su, on my wedding.
When it was my time to kiss her. I closed my eyes and place my lips on her cold cheek. I kissed her lama-lama knowing I won’t be seeing her anymore, I also spare an extra kiss from ayah. I know how ayah longed to kiss mak su for the last time.
Took a step foward and said
“Bye mak su, nanti-nanti kita jumpa lagi”
And I already feel rindu.
