deep thinking

Ayah ada.

by chics on Sunday, 19 June 2011 - 1 am · 3 comments

in deep thinking,family

I rarely talk about my dad. Perhaps because he is seldom here with us.

Or maybe it was because I am know something that I am not supposed to know.

But, other than that, he is a great father.

 

He may not be a perfect man, but he is a great father to both me and my brother.

Seingat aku, tak pernah sekalipun ayah said not to whatever we want. Well, I know that is not a justification for a good father tapi itulah hakikatnya, kalau aku perlukan apa-apa aku tahu aku tak perlu risau sebab ayah ada.

 

Lampu rosak? Ayah ada.

Toilet tak boleh flush? Ayah ada.

Kereta tak boleh start lepas berparty? Ayah ada.

Lapar tapi malas nak keluar? Ayah ada.

 

Dari dulu sampai sekarang, kalau dia ada disinilah [cuma bezanya dulu, ayah juga banker dan sumber mendapatkan beg dan kasut yang tak tercapai oleh duitku]. Bila dia ada, aku sedikit awkward sebab sudah biasa dia tiada tapi bila dia ada, I feel segalanya boleh diuruskan.

Ayah kuat kerja, bila dia tak ada di sini, dia kerja kuat, bila dia balik pun masih bekerja kuat. Berkebun, bertukang, membersihkan rumah, masak.

Kadang-kadang I feel sorry for him because he works so hard but he told me he is happy when he is occupied. Dia tak boleh duduk diam.

Aku tak ada point sebenarnya nak tulis. Macam ada  yang tersekat.

Believe it or not, I have never wish ayah happy father’s day. Jangan tanya kenapa, sebab aku dah puas fikir kenapa tapi masih tak dapat jawapan.

Tapi besok aku akan sms ayah.

 

Selamat hari bapa ayah, kita sayang ayah!

 

 

 

 

Tagged as:

3 comments

I feel sorry for myself.

by chics on Thursday, 16 June 2011 - 12 pm · 24 comments

in deep thinking

Masa di Tonle Sap, I saw lots of boats yang sebenarnya rumah orang.

Ada yang tengok tv, ada yang memasak , ada budak-budak main air simbah-simbah.

 

Duduk di atas hammock merenung jauh.

Mula-mula bila aku terpandang perempaun ini di depan rumahnya, aku rasa kasihan and sedih.

Kesian tengok rumah dia, kesian dia, she deserved more.

At that moment aku terfikir betapa how lucky I am, compared to her.Tapi setelah boat berlalu meninggalkan rumah itu dan berada di tengah tasik it occured to me, why should I feel sorry and sad for her?

For all I know, she is happy and content with her life.

Yes, it may be seen as daif but what if she is happy with the way things are?

Perhaps she doesn’t need lots of things yang sebenarnya agak useless tapi masih mahu diagungkan seperti beg dan kasut mahal [tapi tetap menyakitkan kaki].

It’s like her life is at ease, tak perlu fokus ke arah kebendaan, fokus kepada kasih sayang dan kecintaaan yang asli cukuplah.

Mungkin.

 

Tapi yang aku nampak, rata-rata, simplenya kehidupan di sana tapi betapa kau lihat mereka embrace their life that way. Redha, macam tu.

 

Tiba-tiba aku berasa kasihan terhadap diri sendiri.

I have a cosy place to live, cars to ride, money to spend but those were never enough and sometimes even when I have all that I am still not happy.

Because I always want more.

Walaupun I have to say compared to 5 years ago, I am no longer a slave to shops, fashion magazines and fashion catalog but ianya masih bersisa, walau tak se kronik dulu.

Kadang-kadang I do wish  I am born in some surburb dan tidak terdedah lansung to any of the techs and such. But someone said “jangan, kita jangan wish macam tu, wish benda yang elok aje ok”

How can not knowing what is greed, lie, hypocrites are not good things? Bukankah lebih bahagia knowing tidak ada apa yang perlu dirisaukan – tidak rumah mahal, kereta tak mewah tapi mahal or handbag mahal, mungkin hanya perlu risau benda-benda yang tidak terlalu menyesakkan otak seperti lauk apa nak masak besok.

Bukankah itu bahagia?

 

 

 

Tagged as:

24 comments

Berkongsi gembira

by chics on Monday, 13 June 2011 - 12 pm · 10 comments

in deep thinking

Sometimes I don’t understand people who doesn’t know how to share and be happy for other people’s happiness. It’s like whenever someone they know receive some good news or even compliment, this type of people will make some crude remarks and ada juga yang buat lawak tak kelakar yang annoying.

Contoh, katalah aminah tiba-tiba shed some kilos jadi orang yang perasan pun pujilah, wah aminah serious kau dah kurus!

Tapi tiba-tiba ada seorang yang tersentil berkata

“Ye ke? macam bertambah je aku tengok hihihihih”

Tak ke macam gampang?

Kau ni kenapa?

Sometimes diorang ni rasa remarks diorang kelakar kot tapi serious tak kelakar, there is nothing funny about making jokes about a woman’s appearance, looks and family melainkan perempuan itu yang mulakan itu pun ada batasnya.

And people say, they are some truth in jokes, konon dia kata alaa aku bergurau jela tapi the truth is, memang ada sedikit kebanaran yang sememangnya he/she mean what she said.

Jangan kerana hidup kau miserable or tak ada yang menarik kau tak boleh share happiness orang lain. Itu hak dia, if you think you are his or her friends that act as a friend. I mean, bila tiba masa kau nanti, surely you want people to feel and share your happiness with you.

Bukan kau sorang je manusia yang ada perasaan ok?

Zaman sinis terhadap loved ones sudah berlalu, tunjukkan kasih sayang.

Itu baru namanya insan.

Eceh.

Tagged as:

10 comments

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →