deep thinking

Who’s in your heart

by chics on Thursday, 26 June 2008 - 4 pm · 12 comments

in crap,deep thinking

MR A likes you, you like him too. MR A loves you, you accept his love. Not that you don’t love MR A but no as much as you love MR B, who is either

a) Your crush
b) Your ex

So why be with MR A instead of MR B?

There are few possibilities here. Since I am fighting my menstrual pain, I will spend some time explaining supaya aku tak terasa sakit sangat. I miss writing crap anyway.

Ok, why?

  1. MR B is a jerk, pengote, asshole, etc
  2. MR B belongs to someone [if you are a snatcher, this option is not for you]
  3. MR B is a nice guy but both of you broke up and there’s no way the two of you getting back together. Reasons? Macam-macamlah.
  4. MR A is able to provide you the comfort that you need; money, caring, attentive, bla..bla..
  5. MR is nice. Not sleazy, not taking any advantage, basically a person who really respect youlah as a woman.

MR A sounds perfect while MR B is..tsk..tsk.. next to disaster.

So you choose MR A hoping to be happy. Well, you are, finally I found someone who appreciates me, you said. But then.. Why am I feeling that something is missing? Kenapa bila malam-malam, aku toleh ketepi kepada MR A, aku terasa sayu dalam hati? Bukanke aku supposedly rasa tenteram dan aman dan berbunga-bunga chenta?

You might not know the answer until the day you accidentally stumble upon MR B. Immediately your heart leap and somehow you feel flushed. Macam, zupp, darah naik ke kepala. And the feeling..the feeling that has been missing is there.

The feeling of getting flattered, the feeling of idiocy for smiling too wide till your cheeks hurt and the feeling of “oh-my-god-aku-nampak-dia!!”

Maybe some will say, kalau dah kau suka sangat dekat MR B tu, kau pegi jelah dekat dia. As easy as it sounds. Yes you can, hati kau memang berbunga-bunga girang bila dia membalas lirikan mata, bila dia pegang tangan kau and kiss slow-slow or even bila dia introduce kau as someone special. Those, will be perfect because he is the one who your heart want. The problem rise when he is not the right person for you.

How can he be the right person for you, to take care of you and your little heart when he is busy

a) womanising
b) ignoring you emotional demands when you are really in need
c) menghadapi masalah nak decide mana satu nak pilih yang aku gerenti akan turut membuatkan kau berasa sangat lanchau.
d) not doing his part to make the relationship work

Yes, you can say, there might a light at the end of the tunnel. Ok, you can repeat that like 1000000² times to yourself but then again will you still survive with unbroken wings by the time you reach the end of the tunnel? It upon kalaula there’s light kan.

Sometimes, you can’t just listen to your heart.

If you have at least a little feeling for MR A, why not give him a chance to love you and also a chance for yourself to be appreciated. You deserve all the care and attention after all. Let the small feeling nurtured to something bigger.

For all you know, one day, while lying you turn to him and take a deep look at his face and said to yourself

“I just can’t do without you by my side”

12 comments

Wicked Karma

by chics on Tuesday, 24 June 2008 - 12 am · 14 comments

in crap,deep thinking

That chinese friend of mine told me he [finally] broke up with her I-don’t-know-how-long girlfriend [tah brapa banyak kali break and reconcile tah] for real [eheh tapi ini pon tak sure]. I have nothing against her, really since I don’t even know her tapi mamat ni yang selalu cerita susah apalah itulah inilah gaduhla kejap baik lah kejap gaduh and you know the restlah. Kadang-kadang kesian gak aku tengok dia kan.

Anyway, few weeks ago he told me he knew a girl, hot according to his taste and manja too. I was..ermm..ok, and asked him whether or not the girl know that friend of mine already had a girlfriend. Memanglah sedang retak menanti belah tapi ada tu tetap ada.. She knew but she didn’t mind and said “Janganlah break dengan girlfriend you”. Dan dia pon terus menggeletis dan meneruskan melayan perasaan orang.

WTFla? Ni perempuan memang lanch punye jenis ok. I really hate it when a girl or a guy say “Janganlah sebab I you dengan dia berpisah” padahal lepas tu kau sedaya upaya cuba menggoda dan mengorat. Konon-konon nak tunjuk baikla, tak mahu merosakkan hubungan orang, padahal cis. Tiap-tiap hari sms, call cakap chenta-chenta.

Yang si cina ni pon satu, dah ada girlfriend nakkk jugak carik pasal. Kalau nak carik lain, boleh settle problem kau tu dulu tak?

So I told him, she’s not a nice person. If she is, she would not go for him at the first place when she knew that he is seeing someone else. It would be a different case if they are only being friends tapi kalau dah kasi pegang tetek apa lanch itu lebih dari kawan ok. They can be friends, just friends and bila mamat tu bebetul dah officially single, kau nak doggy ke kamasutra ke, kau punya pasallakan. But being blindly in love, he chose not to listen to me which is, sukahati dialakan. Bukan aku punya life pon. Lagipun, I might be wrong.

But hehe. I was so not. As I am typing this, I am reading dia  mencarut babii babiii pantaattt pantattt kimaakk dengan banyak sekali on his ym. Mamat ni memang suka mencarutlah, mengalahkan aku. It turned out the girl he though who loved her is a player after all. Like duh! The bad news is, he fall for her. Hard. I don’t usually go on saying I told you so, tapi kali ni aku tak boleh tahan. I told him that he is and that he’s stupid to fall for such trick, yet I am still here trying to make him feel better.

He’s in Miri now, offshore. Aku nak suruh dia mengaji, baca yassin pon tak boleh sebab dia komfemlah tak tahu. So I told him to keep talking and get his ass back in KL so I could teman him to shop and even buat rambut jatuh-jatuh gay style.Or whatever he wants to make him feel better. Tak pepasal dia terjun laut sekarang.

On the kejam side, the driver give me feedback when I told him the story “They deserve each other, seorang asshole dah ada girlfriend nak menggatal sorang lagi memang gatal”

Kejam! Well, he is my friend yes, tapi memang dah betul.

In fact, I told Yip, maybe that’s Karma for not doing things the right way dan die telah meneruskan menaip carutan-carutan dengan semakin lajuuu…

14 comments

When everything goes up

by chics on Sunday, 8 June 2008 - 3 pm · 17 comments

in deep thinking,life,worries

We had ketam for lunch today and emak was telling us that how the prices at the pasar had increased. Obviously the hike of fuel price is the main contributer. While some people think that is not necessary to make a big fuss out of it because buat apa nak complaint-complaint inilah yang terbaik, I beg to differ.

Maybe it’s ok for you and it’s still ok for me. Frankly speaking, I still can go crazy eating ketam buying gucci or whatever I do because the difference is not that much and it’s still durable. Maybe the same thing goes to you, I don’t know. I was told by my banker cum accountant that our budget will only increased about RM100 to RM200 even maybe RM400 per month. Quite significant yes, but still managable. And I was not told to let go of my lifestyle :P [bad I know but..sigh,I will trylah for the sake of everyone]

But what about those who are earning less than 1K per month? Those who really use their energy yet their wages [bukan wedges ok,  thanks to abigail. english saya memang fail sket] are less than 1K minus EPF and SOCSO? Not to mention if they have kids. Obviously they don’t go for branded stuff leave alone imported stuff. People like us can go eating roti, tepung , pasta or whatever but what about those yang even their breakfast started with rice? Seperti pekerja binaan dan well maybe petani. Apa kau nak suruh mereka-mereka yang bekerja berat itu makan roti? Kau nak suruh diorang pengsan? Setakat kau kerja sign sana sign sini main golf maybe boleh, itu pun tak comfirm lagi.

How are they supposed to change their lifestyle kalau lifestyle diorang itu adalah yang paling minimum?

I do consider myself as selfish but when this thing happen I really feel sorry for those with lower income. Nak suruh naik public transport ye? Kalau anak dia 5 macamana? Nak bersesak-sesak lagi, nak control anak lagi. Obviously the public transport price or fee increament will not going to be less than 40%. Kesianlah, habis tu duit semua nak habiskan dekat situ? Diorang pon nak merasa ada masa leisure, jalan-jalan and what not. Diorang nak jugak bercerita dan merasa pergi trip ke mana-mana. Diorang pon nak jugak makan ketam kan.

I don’t knowlah. I hope they are going to do something about it. Kalau tak yang susah bertambah susah yang senang, kalau tak bertambah senang, takkan rasa sangat impactnya.

Please don’t say we don’t have any more budget , because if we really don’t why they are so many gov servants going for unnecessary seminars and what not yang kadang-kadang sampai oversea. I am not just saying, because I’ve seen one. There was this lady, old nenek at my kampung, she can’t even read but she’s hold some pangkat in some organisation, well not really an independent organisation, but gov related. She can’t read but they send her for computer seminar in Langkawi, for a week. WTF is that? How can you expect an illiterate nenek to gain benefits from the computer seminar? And later, they hold their organisation meeting at gunung jerai.

Imagine, organisation tu adalah di bawah cawangan hulu langat, tapi meeting dekat gunung jerai? WTF?

Maybe you don’t have relatives with lower income, but I do. And even without the fuel increment, their life were not that comfortable imagine how are they going to survive when the price not only oil but everything goes up?

I know this type of writing does not match my image. But they are certain things that I keep to myself sometimes. Once in a while, they will go leaking. Because when you try to overdo it, people might mistake your intention.

You see, it’s not only about you but it is also about others who are less fortunate than you.

17 comments