November 2011

Happy mood walaupun vijayjay panas

by chics on Tuesday, 29 November 2011 - 8 am · 6 comments

in 18 sx,beauty,feminism,Menggelupur

Today I went for waxing.

Brazilian.

Honestly I do not understand kenapa aku merelakan diri aku di wax di vijayjay.

Every time bila aku sampai dekat tempat waxing tu without fail I will question my decision. Macamla tak boleh trim je kan? Yang aku merelakan vijayjay di sapu wax panas dan kemudian di rentap tu kenapaaaaaaaaaaaa?

 

Wax tu panas ok, just imagine kegulupurannya bila benda panas di sapu di situ. Itu satu kemudiannnn zrass zrass zapppppp.

Tapi nasib baiklah kali ni dia pakai hard wax, bukan soft wax yang dia tarik pakai cloth tu. Yang itu lagila hazab. Jadi less sakit. Tapi dalam kurang sakit pun, terangkatlah punggung sambil mengigit jari.

Amoi tu siap cakap

“You aa, kena buat every month tau, baru tak sakitt”

Sambil dia menarik wax dengan penuh penghayatan.

 

Every month?

Boleh tu boleh tapi aku takut vijayjay aku trauma, dahla kena titis dengan lilin panas lepas tu kena cabut bulu pulak. Aduhhh tak ke trauma?

 

But, the end result adalah memuaskan, kulit adalah selembut bayi haha.

Ok tipu, tapi rasa lebih ringan dan terasa umpama diri bersinar. Feeling dia lain dari trim.

 

Boleh menyebabkan hati berlagu riang satu hari.

 

Riang takkkkk?

 

Just that I wonder, apakah perasaan waxer itu terpaksa melihat cipap yang tidak tahu bilangannya setiap hari? Sungguh kesian aku rasa.

 

Lepas tu kalau nak isi borang bahasa melayu

 

Pekerjaan: Pencabut bulu.

 

Apakahhhhhhhh?

 

 

 Tips: Wait until one week after your menses to go for brazilian, not before and not after menses. This time, vijayjay area adalah less sensitive [one week after].

6 comments

Hijerahh itu pengorbanannn

by chics on Monday, 28 November 2011 - 6 pm · 1 comment

in deep thinking

Speaking of hijrah, I thought of something that I want to improve for the coming years.

I want to not think negative of people before I get to know them and what is going on [unless they are cibai to me directly but then they are cases where I can give some exception]

I also want to try my best not to look down and belittle people whether they hurt me or not. I think I have try not to do this before but maybe it can be improved.

Belittling itu adalah seperti ayat-ayat “macamlah muka kau cantik”, “kau tu dahla anak orang miskin”, “tak sedar diri pakai cup A” dan sewaktu dengannya.

 

Not much but at least somethinglah.

 

 

1 comment

Forgive me but I need to talk

by chics on Saturday, 26 November 2011 - 10 pm · 1 comment

in deep thinking

Every time I try to relax the feelings will come.

Come on, can you give me a break? I need to relax sometimes you know. Do you expect me to be on my feet 24-7 just to feel that I am doing ok?

The weird thing is, other things don’t bother me. Like right now my cat, MJ has not come home for the whole day. Instead of feeling worried and panic like I used to, I feel.. nothing.

And asthma that I am having now doesn’t really bother me that much like they use to.

 

It’s like every other shit is ok except for this one bloody thing.

The feeling that makes me feel so helpless.

 

Sometimes I feel like slapping myself for being so whiny but you have to understand, I rather let them out in an open space rather than talk to any particular person.

Yes, I do talk to God, every time in my prayers. I do feel His help. The truth is, I am ashamed every time I cry to him. I am ashamed of being helpless and not be strong as He wants me to be. And I am also ashamed for the fact that I always sinned but keep asking for His help and mercy.

Every day I will ask him to help me to be strong, feel ok and please show me the way how to live my life again.

 

Let me tell you a secret.

When I was on my darkest hour through my illness, I ask him for two things. That time I was about to make one of the biggest decision in my life – which will make my life fall apart [not that it hasn't]

I asked Him to show me the right thing to do, if what I was about to do [I was half way doing it anyway] is the best thing for me, then give me the strength to continue even though that was not what I want. But if He think I deserve what I really want, then show me how it can happen.

And then I pretend He will be by my side[literally] all night long so I don’t feel lonely and unloved.

 

Which one of my prayers did He answered? That shall remain my secret.

 

Right now, I don’t know whether things will be ok or not. I don’t even dare to hope.

But that doesn’t mean that I am not trying.

 

 

 

 

 

1 comment