Here we go again. Saturday [or is it Sunday?] night and all alone.
Well, literally I am, somebody is sleeping since petang, so yeah I am all alone.
Otak aku kusut dan letih maybe. Letih trying to make things better tapi still tak ok. Letih tu boleh jadi marah dan frustrated.
Bukan aku tak try, aku try tapi dalam keletihan aku ni, bila ada time free, I would also like to unwind and have my own time. It’s not that I don’t give my time at all for other stuff, I did.
You know my feet is swollen sebab aku berjalan banyak sangat and melecet. Tetibe aku macam ibu mengandung. Perut besar checked, kaki bengkak checked, tetek besar..err unchecked?
Ok silap, maybe that’s not the right persamaan but my point is, kaki aku bengkak despite aku pakai flats.
Bloody hell, susahla pulak nak cakaapp the real point.
I am fucking tiredddddddddddddddddddddddd. Physically and mentally.
Untuk budak mengada + gedik macam aku, I cannot take it. So I want my rest.
Yet I know I have to give my time for other things too and I tried. I did and I even canceled my plan, although half heartedly, I still did sebab bila aku pikir balik, takpelah kot.
Tapi it is still not enough. I mean, I cannot help feeling half-heartedlylah ok. I was hoping to do something for myself after I allocated some time to do other stuff, kira macam oklah, lepas dah buat apa yang patut nakla buat something for myself. Really looking forward to it tapi tiba-tiba di suruh cancel, of courselah aku sedikit rasa sedih kan? Sedih tapi takpe, aku rela la lepaskan.
But still aku jugak yang salah. Sebab sepatutnya aku tak boleh half heartedly.
Tak suka betul when you are trying to make an effort and then got cut just like that.
Perasaannnya adalah macam cibai.
Haih.
So there goes my mood.
I planned to cook laksa johor tomorrow – cancelled.
I am supposed to lepak with tetek kejap lagi, aku ingat nak cancel tapi nasib baik Tini came all the way from Terengganu so I’ll drag myself. Lagipun dah lama tak jumpa.
Fuckla. Swirly, apsal kau tido? Kan aku dah pergi type semua benda ni. Sheesh
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