I have been living like a vampire for the past few days. Siang memerap dekat rumah, malam baru keluar mencarik makan tu pon dekat-dekat je. Konon-konon nak pergi tengok fireflies dekat Kuala Selangor tapi harammmm, main game je memanjang.
Ok, that’s my intro for today. Hehe
Have you see the new American Idol iklan on Starworld, with Ellen Degeneres on it? Somehow that advert irked me to the max, partly because I don’t like Ellen. I don’t knowlah how come people find she’s funny because to me she’s not. She’s just.. muka mintak penampar.
Dan tak tahu kenapa [mungkin gatal agaknya tapi malas nak ngaku] I googled her and dalam banyak-banyak result tu ada tersentil cerita pasal wedding dia – to Portia De Rossi.
I am sure everybody must have heard kan about her and Portia and honestly masa aku dengar tu I was..ok whatever. That’s it. I am not supporting or opposing gay marriage. It’s like I don’t want to know. Sebab kang aku poyo mengutuk kang tah tetibe anak aku macam tu ke, plus I don’t know what’s going on in their life but I am not supporting either because.. I guess It’s weird. And awkward [besides the main reasonlah kan]
But I didn’t really think about the weirdness and awkwardness until I saw their wedding photos.
You know, usually I will have some similar reactions when I see wedding photos. Most of the time, I will fell warm and terasa macam sweetnya diorang or I will..cringe because some of them macam trying too hard[ye keji aku tau but I cannot help it]
But when I saw Ellen and Portia’s photo, I felt..awkward [despite baju Portia yang sangat chantek]
I don’t know man, it’s hard to explain. I don’t consider myself as someone yang terlalu judgmental [although I do judge hehe] tapi ini macam..weirdlah. I mean, I do like girls especially pretty girls a lot but I just like to look at them.
I mean tak frustrate ke malam-malam bila kau horny dan kau terbayangkan kekayu ria [joystick/magic mushroom] dan meraba-raba tetapi yang ada hanyalahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okla fine, some people said being in love is not all about sex but let’s face itlah, you got to have sex once in a while and for some people not once in a while tapi selalu. So how?
Ok, maybe I don’t understand and I don’t know because I haven’t got the slightest idea tapi bila aku membayangkan aku di keadaan itu, mungkin aku akan berasa tertekan.
But then again they look so happykan? I guess I don’t understand and don’t have to understand.
Itu satu, kedua, I noticed the tomboy waitress dekat tempat aku biasa makan dah ada misai jarang-jarang. How did she do it and how could she?
Which reminded me of the vet yang juga dah ada misai sekarang.
Although it’s not my problem tapi aku macam bingung and sad at the same time. Bingung sebab waduh waduhhhhh.. wah tetibe nak speaking indo. ok, main-mainla chics ni betul-betullaaa..ok..ok sorry
Bingung sebab sampai macam tu sekali you hate yourself? I also hate some part of me especially peha aku yang macam kentaki fried chicken ni. Although aku kadang-kadang depress dan berazam akan berbuat sesuatu tapi most of the time I succumbed to the fact that it’s my body, it is a part of me yang aku have to live and deal with.
Ibarat peha chicsinred
But I guess not for some people, they hate until the decided to change, completely.
I told that to bedmate but he had a different view.
He said, maybe they did not hate themselves but it’s just that they feel more comfortable, confident and happy being the person that they want to be. Lagi gembira macam tu.
Kadang-kadang ada satu part dalam diri aku yang nak kata kenapa macam tu, kenapa nak lawan apa yang Tuhan bagi, berdosa bla..bla tapi aku tak tercakap sebab hehe aku pon suka jugakla kan melawan Dia dan tahaper-hape jugak. Lagi satu, it’s easy for me to say sebab aku tak paham what are they going through but the most important thing is, who am I to judge/to question?
I mean they are adults, I am sure they are responsible for every decision that they made, the consequences and everything.
So again, I will not try to understand although this kind of stuff will never fail to intrigue me and membuat aku tertanya-tanya.
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