I am pissed

by chics on Thursday, 21 January 2010 - 10 pm

in angst

I wrote something on facebook. I chose to write there because it’s more private but aku memangla bongokkan, facebook private? Like wtf?

It’s relating to something quite personal. I needed to let and if I do it on some anonymous blog, it will not help. Trust me, I’ve done that.

Anyway, I deleted all the comments because I find it painful and evoked the anger in me.

I stated that I am trying and struggling to overcome whatever I am suffering. If you know me, I am not the type of person who wrote that I pray 5 times a day, menderma kepada anak yatim or such thing.  Sebab to me, things like that tahu sendiri dahla kot dan tak perlulah nak cerita.

It also ticks me off when people keep saying the same thing.

Example when somebody is sad or broken hearted, people will say

“Hang in there”

“Be tough”

“Chin up”

Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, obviously that’s the exact thing the person is doing or trying to do jadi tak perlula sebut banyak-banyak kali.Lama-lama jadi bingit. Samala macam sekolah dulu orang cakap “belajarla rajin-rajin” when you obviously tahu aku budak yang rajin[hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa matila kalau cik salmah baca]

In my case, the saying is turn to Him. Of course that’s the exact thing a person who’s in trouble[or not would do].

Sometimes, ada tak pernah terikir when you read something or when someone tell you something, that person want to be heard? To let it go, not to be judged or to be told what to do?

Probably this person is trying all the best that she could so there is no need keep saying the same thing especially kalau orang tu baran [hehe]

It frustrates me because I have been trying and doing what I needed to do for 5 fucking years and do not tell me I am just sitting there asking whyyy whyy whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

And do you know really how it feel? Here you are struggling with whatever it is, trying all you could and people preach and tell you as if you did nothing or know nothing.

Do you know how hard I am trying to control my tears as I typed this knowing you would not understand?

Nevermind.

You have a nice day.

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