January 2010

Habit sebelum tido

by chics on Friday, 29 January 2010 - 12 am · 28 comments

in crap

Over the years, I have developed some weird habit before going to sleep. Ok some are weird some are normal tapi walaupun normal, ianya adalah essential.

One

Bila nak tidur kaki mesti menunjukkan angka 4.

Like wtf kan?

As weird as it sounds, adalah wajib, kalau tak susah nak tido.

I don’t have any explanation for this aku terima jela kecacatan ini.

Two

Kena dikelilingi bantal-bantal yang kene sentuh badan. Kalau selagi bantal-bantal tu tak sentuh badan tak puas hati.

Which is weird because I used to hate unnecessary pillows. Paling banyak pon 2 la, satu bantal tidur satu bolster tapi sekarang, bantal-bantal ni macam ada kuasa ajaib ok. The moment mereka bersentuhan dengan kulit barulah aku rasa tenang untuk tido.

Sebab tu bila aku bangun tengah malam and found out ada orang curi bantal-bantal aku, aku jadi stress lalu mencurik balik haha.

Three

All lights have to be switched off. Tak boleh ada cahaya lampu sikit pon.  Lampu dari luar pon kalau boleh tak nak tapi nak buat camanala pulak kan so sipi-sipi tu bolehla.

Four

I like to cuddle before I sleep but the moment aku dah mengantuk nak tido, silalah ketepi. Leave me alone in my own space. Rimas ok?

Luckily the bedmate share the same feeling [I think sebab nanti dia pon roll over to the other side]. Kadang-kadang ada jugak nak try tidur mengada tapi tak bolehlaaaaaaa. Rasa macam hoi apa ni, kenapa ada orang bernafas depan muka aku ni? Macamana nak tido?

Five

Sometimes I fart in my sleep [according to bedmate merangkap mangsa]. Weird plus keji.

Itu jela kot, tak tahulah pulak akan develop yang lain di masa akan datang. Hehe

P/S. Excuse my drawing, tangan kayu orang lidi pon gagal.

28 comments

Mencari Ah Beng

by chics on Thursday, 28 January 2010 - 12 pm · 8 comments

in crap,family,Pets,worries

I got home about 8 last night only to find Jesse and Ah Lian waiting for me. No Ah Beng sight to be seen. The bedmate will not be coming home since he got futsal and will be spending the night with his friend.

So anyway, it is common for the cats to go out so I wasn’t really worried. Toasted two slices of bread for myself  and enjoyed it over legally blonde.

Tapi halfway cerita aku rasa tak sedap hati. Dah berapa lamala dia ni keluar? Hari dah makin gelap ni, apsal tak balik-balik. Tau tak kat luar tu ada kucing jahat yang anytime je standby nak belasah dia?

Dengan berbekalkan sehelai T shirt I went to the front door and called his name. Takde jawapan pun so jalan depan-depan sikit, still takde jawapan. Kucing yang tak berkenaan pulak yang datang menyahut.

Walaupun aku menggelupur I told myself to calm down and carik dekat pintu belakang pulak.

Ah bengggggggggg bengjii ngiau ngiau tsk tsk

Takde jawapan.

Eee mana pulak dia ni pergiiiiiiiiii? Selalunya panggil mesti menyahut

Tah tah dak kene belasah sampai lembik dengan kucing jahat tu tak? Lepas tu terdampar dalam longkang keseorang berdarah-darah.

Demmitlahhh, dahla aku sensorang ni kann. Nak tak nak I put on my jeans and made my way to the ditch area belakang rumah.

Masa tu adalah gelap ok, cuma diterangi samar cahaya dari rumah jiran [chewah!].

Sambil berjalan aku memanggil-manggil lagi

Ah bengggggggg… Ah Benggggggg.. Bengjiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Ngiauuuuuuuuuuuuu Ngiauuuu Cingg tsk tsk tsk

Tapi kali ni kuat sikitla sebab gelap kan walaupun aku tak tahu apa motif aku kuatkan suara bila keadaan menjadi gelap.

Yet no respond from Ah Beng yang ada hanyalah beberapa ekor kucing jalanan yang ketakukan kerana tetibe ada seorasng manusia katik memasuki territory mereka sambil membuat bising.

Sambil-sambil tu aku jenguk-jenguk dalam longkang walaupunnnnnnnn aku harap sangat aku tak nampak Ah Beng dekat dalam tu. I mean what should I do kalau dia ada situ? Hari dah malam, vet komfem dah tutup and what if he tak bernafas lagi?

Shit. Shit.

Tapi kalau tetibe kucing ni yang keluar lagi shitty ok!

Tiba-tiba

“Cari siapa kak?”

Adala pulak seorang gadis [ok aku tataula dia masih gadis ke tak tapi she's a womanla] keluar dari belakang rumah and tanya. At the same time aku perasan dua tiga dapur rumah orang lampu diorang dinyalakan.

Ah sudahhhhhhhhhhhhh kenela pulak aku menjawabbbb. Dan masa itulah aku berasa keji, yela orang risau gila dan memanggil-manggil tengah malam bila anak hilang tapi akuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?

Mengganggu ketenteraman awam bila kucing aku hilangggg. Hohhhhhhhhhhh

Nak takk nak dengan shy shy pig I told her kucing saya hilang and she replied with oooooooo and lepas tu memerhatikan aku dalam gelap.

Terasa diri ini seekor saiko ok!

Anyway I continued my search sampailah tembus ke depan and eventually sampai ke pintu depan rumah aku.

Still no Ah Beng.

Being me aku dah hampir nak menangis and I was thinking to call him walaupun seboleh-bolehnya aku tak nak call sebab it will only ruin his night. Mesti dia sakit otak and terus balik rumah dan terpaksa cancel plan-plan dia.

For one last time, depan pintu rumah I called for him.

This time, sayup-sayup aku dengar satu nyahutan dari pintu belakang.

Could that be him? So I called again and ada lagi satu nyahutan .

Please say it’s him, kalau bukan dia tapi kucing lain yang gatal nak menyahut mungkin aku akan melelehkan cairan nanah dari otak.

But when I came closer to back door I saw him, takut-takut nak balik.

Hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nasib baik kau balik Bengggggg kalau takkk mungkin kakak kau ni menggelupur sambil tak tidur satu malam.

Pengakhiran cerita- chicsinred adalah gembira sebab bukan sahaja Ah Beng balik tetapi Swirly juga turut balik [walaupun aku tak call dia pon] sebab dia tiba-tiba nak balik.

So yeay!

8 comments

RM 3 ribu

by chics on Wednesday, 27 January 2010 - 9 am · 10 comments

in crap

The house needs a water filter. So the other day I asked emak how much does her water filter cost sebab I really like it. It’s from electrolux kot. While she was telling me the price and other info suddenly she remembered one of ayah’s adik ipar who is a MLM products dealer. One of the produts is water filterlah.

Gambar hiasan je ni

Since ayah is a member, maybe I could get a discount. I also don’t understand why ayah became a member sebab before this he wouldn’t give a shit about all this MLM thingy but now bukan saje join but he also bought stuff yang aku rasa komfem aku tak beli contoh tilam infraredlah [or something like that], some weird pillows and entah apa lagilah.

Maybe he wanted to help his adik ipar, well that’s what I thoughtlah. Or maybe he felt that the products are good. Ok, whatever.

Anyway, she set an appointment with us this coming Saturday and while waiting for that day to come she gave us a brochure to read.

Well like usual, it’s full of stuff yang aku tak tahu apa kebendanya, ion bla..bla.., nano bla..bla.. dan entah apa lagi. Honestly how can you tell these things are good when you don’t even know what the fuck are they?

Tapi tu takplela lagi kot, maybe we can do our own research tapib ila tengok harga dia aku macam nak kene sawan. The thing cost RM 3K ++.

Fuckla, water filter memang mahal macam tu ke? Sebab dulu ade je orang nak jual bio aura dekat aku, harga dia takdela mahal macam tu.

Mak aku punya electrolux pon tak sampai 3 K kot.

Anyway, yesterday in the car the driver and me telah membincangkan tentang water filter ini. The last time I told him I want to buy bio aura dia tak kasi, because of that nano-nano thingylah. Tapi semalam dia kata we’ll see despite this water filter bukan setakat nano, apake jadah tah lagi ada dalam tu. Maybe sebab dia dah baca brochure tu or maybe sebab he just want to give a shot.

Eee yang aku nak buat pelbagai andaian ni kenapa? Sheesh

So I told him

Me: But that thing is bloody mahal, surelah can get discount but won’t be much right.

He: True alsolah and dunno if it’s really good or not.

Me: Hey, fucking 3K I can get a fucking designer bag already ok! * sambil membayangkan beg-beg yang jelita

He went quiet for a while and said

He: With 3K can sponsor so many orphans.

I was like …….

Terkasima kejap.

Terdiam. Membisu dan termalu.

Kenapalah kau suka mematahkan imaginasi ku serta membuat aku berasa keji terhadap diri sendiri?

Hoh!

10 comments