After few hours of sleeping I decided, ah fuck convolah. True enough, it’s just a shitty paper.
Surely I can skip it, macam aku tak pernah skip such ocassion before. Masa form 4, aku skip hari anugerah cemerlang yang julung-julung kalinya aku naik pentas sebab dapat semua A masa PMR [kecoh gila, ni pon nak kasi tau hehe] untuk pergi Singapore. Hehe lagi best Uniquely Singapore dari duduk kepanasan dalam tu sambil kene dengar ucapan panjang berjela. Baiklah aku pergi shopping dekat Orchard Road.
And like some you said, macamla masa degree tak pernah convo. Betul jugak tu kan. Sama je, beratur, naik pentas, salam, sengih, pose skejap ambik gambar [walaupunnn sebenarnya tak perlulaa] then turun.
Habis dah convo.
But.
Do you know how much that piece of paper mean to my parents? Dan betapa lemahnya aku when it comes to the parents’ subject?
Mak aku belajar bukan tinggi dan sedari we siblings were still small, she always stressed out that education is the most important thing above all. Bukan good looks, bukan rich husband dan bukan juga rich parents. Baju chantek, kasut chantek memang tak masuk bukula.
When I told her I wanted to continue my study, she was the one who really supported me and make sure I completed the application process. At times, she may look as if she didn’t care tapi when I decided to extend my study sebab aku ni memang pemalas [hehe], she was worried and sort of pestered me to finish everything.
I know that she never asked me to make her proud or for my money [she never even once ask for my money] but I feel responsible to make her happy. She had went through lots of heartache and pain [ tak perlulah aku nyatakan apa] so I hope at least this will make up for all the things that she had gone through even aku tau, alaaa bukannya apa pon. Ramai jee orang ada.
I didn’t say that everybody should do this, tapi this is one of my way to do it.
Untuk tanya dia, boleh tak aku tak pergi convo, adalah tidak sampai hati.
Plus
Feeling masa degree punya convo dengan sekarang tak sama. Aku ingatkan sama tapi sebenarnya tak sama, aku ingat aku excited nak convo pasal nak pakai baju baru kasut baru rambut baru semualah baru [getik tak getik skang?] tapi rupanya ada satu sebab lain. The reason that I am not too sure of, in the beginning.
There is a weird feeling when I scroll the name list for convo. When I saw my name, dada adalah bergetar.
Bukan sebab achievement wahh –aku- ada –master- kau- ada? To me, it’s just another paper qualification and I detest those who gloat about it [you can be proud but please don't gloat, as if you are Stephen Hawking]. Tapi sebab the decision to take up that course had led to so many wonderful things. Had made me think clearly, that I finally decided to accept that special someone.
The journey, to be preciselah.
Before I joined the class, I was pretty messed up and didn’t know what I want. If you know me personally, probably you would now how messed up I was back then.
Now, all my smiles are no more plastic :)
Jadiiiiiiiiiiiiii, adalah Maldives berbaloi untuk semua ini?
I don’t think so [walaupun dalam hati mcm arghhhhhhhhhh arghhhhhhhh * cabut rambut]
There will always be next time1 or a new watch hehe
Sekianlah entry yang poyo ini.
Moral: Sayangilah emak semasa dia masih ada. Boleh camni?
- I was promised and already written alif lam lam ha on his hand hihi ↩
