Ok. I feel like I’ve swallowed some rotting pussy.

Like ughhh.

The thing is, my uncle brought us fresh lala 2 weeks ago and he said he bought it from pasar tani. The taste was so sweet till I finished most of the 2 kilos myself. So this week, dengan semangat membara, I wake up when it’s till dark making my way to pasar tani.

I saw the lala alright, but it was not in a water container as mentioned by my uncle but what the heck, the whole row only that particular stall sells that lala. Feeling fa lala lala, I bought them for 1.5 kilos buttttt after walking at the next row, I saw a lady selling lala, lokam, oyster dan segala keturunan shells in a watery bucket.

Shit, this must be the one that my uncle talked about.

Haruslah aku rasa nak mencarut dahla murah 2 ringgit.

Like, cibailahhhhhhhhhh apsal aku tak jalan-jalan sampai abis dulu tadiiiiiii.

Takpe..takpe I said. The lala I just bought pon fresh juga. That’s me and my pasar tani partner comforting ourselves because we saw some of the lala that we bought terjelir-jelir.

Sigh.

Not fresh ok. Not sweet. Ok, maybe some of them do taste sweet but some of them tasted like rotting pussies. Don’t ask me how I know the taste, my imagination are just above the par.

I think the mix the new ones with the old ones. Nilah dia tau, nak cepat untung. My pasar tani partner said he will go and tell them off next week, on how pussy tasting their lala are. He can be mean sometimes, especially to customer services who doesn’t know how to service.

I am going to lie down. My tekak and tongue need some rest and so do my arms.

The excursion selling tart to the pasar pagi yesterday that made me tawaf 2 kali, had left my arms feeling so sengal and sakit. Selling tart and a question mark?

Don’t ask. Just blame it on my emak.

Btw, I miss her

I had an eventful day yesterday, which doesn’t happen too often.

Since my cousin yana gave a birth to a baby boy few days back, I decided to pay her and the baby a visit. My cousin has a baby, bunnies! Like real baby sucking tits and all!

Ahmad Shihan Darwish. Sideburn gila panjang ok, ikut sapa tatau

Like the rest, Yana story scare the shit out of me. She ripped off Zali’s [the husband] shirt accidentally sebab dia grip and tarik kuat sangat, sakit sangat dia kata. Dan doktor gunting snap snap. Aaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhh

When I told swirly about the gunting part, he looked at me and buat aksi menggunting and said “Since you might have to go through it, why not practice now”. Bongok ke gila? Ke dua-dua?

This stuff is so fucking scary to melah!

A happy face for not having her pussy getting cut. Yet [still undecided]

Ok next.

Next, off to midvalley to feed my hunger for materials. I am thinking.. make up and clothing, despite my rambut yang besar aku redah jua midvalley itu.

I managed to buy the make up but not the baju. Tetapi, I managed to snap my happy face while trying the baju. So behold, you will only be seeing my face after this

Ok. Maybe you can’t see what’s so great with this baju but it reminds me of a baju belong to lindsay lohan, if you could see the bottom part. Why didn’t I snap the bottom part? I don’t know, maybe because I am too busy snapping my face? Anyway, for someone to wear this baju nicely she has to has a pair of nice boobies dan maybe sedikit tinggi. Babilah mng ni kata saiz xs, buatla bebetul eee. Kalau buat saiz xs untuk European baik tayah jual dekat sini. Kan tengok dah emo.

This baju sort of fits me but I looked like nor kumalasari in some 70’s movie. Retro sangatlah, tak reti nak bawak, plus, you could see my bra peeking meaning tetek tak cukup besar. Although it still can be save, I choose not to buy it, maybe because of the material also kot. It reminded me of my grandma’s sweater.Eh tapi skang aku rasa nyesal sebab baju nenek mcm best je pakai. Hmm

I love red and I fall in love with this dress instantly but..

It doesn’t looks too flattering. Although the bottom embroidery is nice tapi tak fitting, so I don’t like. Saya hanya suka pakai baju macam pembalut sarung nangka sahaja thank you.

Ok,this dress really looks pretty on the rack despite the blue colour. The cutting was a bit different and nampak macam pendek dekat depan but wtf, it really look nice so I tried it. Please ignore my rambut yang semakin simba dari biasa. Hasil penukaran baju-baju secara berterusan.

Tapi baju ni lagi haram,hampir kesemuanya didedahkan. Kene pegang banyak kain ok and the backside was not very flattering either.Taulah bare back tapi tak payahla labuh gila like some saggy boobs. Euws.

That one wrapped up the hunt for baju coz after that I lost my mood and went to jusco for tako tao and okonomiyaki . Tapi aku tak puas hati dengan pembuat tako tao itu, apsal kasi chicken ham + cheese when I ordered iidako. Sheesh, dahla tak senyum salah bagi pulak. Oh, I used to love the pairs yang jual tako tao dulu2 masa tahun 2005, sangat suka senyum dan tak payah tanya dah tau aku nak order apa.

Oh shite. My hair. I need a hair cut. Tapi dah terbeli conditioner for curly hair smalam. Itulah namanya gelojoh tetapi fickle.

Happy weekend.

I am such a lazy bum now. And also had turn into a cheapskate.

Quite alarming but I am really too lazy to go out to shop, that hanya memesan baju dari internet sahaja. Dahla tu kedekut pulak tukan,kalau harga lebih RM 70 tak nak beli. Yela, untuk baju takde brand RM70 is mahal ok <—nampak tak cheapskate?

Nak beli from oversea, cost nak post dengan tax dah macam haram. Bodoh.

Hmm. This is sort of humiliating but I used to be brand conscious. Ye shallow aku tau but I can’t help it. Kalau kau made in hong kong ke taiwan ke jangan harapla aku nak beli . Kalau takde nama-nama ala mat salleh ke italian ke french ke, lupakan. Buatan Malaysia lagila hehe [gila blagak aku ni kan]

Tapi sekarang hehehe.. beli..beliii. Murahh..murahh..cheapskateeee..chepaskatee [no offense to those who like to buy thrift stuff , am talking about me here okies tapi kalau offended nasib kaula hehe]

I can tolerate non branded names like totally takde, not those yang berusaha untuk ada nama. I don’t know why I just cannot bring myself to even walk into the shop,if I happen to pass by one. Please don’t ask me to give example ok, I cannot. I am in the midst of trying to be a nicer person.

Oh, I also wish I could buy shoes online. Yes I can buy my feet are a bit cacat dan bersaiz cacat. Kadang-kadang saiz 3, kadang-kadang saiz 4 and kadang-kadang saiz 5 [tapi mostly saiz 3 1/2 la] so how to buy? Kang salah beli sakit hati pulak. At least baju you can do something with it [like gain weight or loose weight]. Takde la pulak mana-mana online shop nak provide with bentuk tapak kaki ke apa upon purchasing shoes online.

I used to admire my wardrobe, bukak almari dan memandang dengan keghairahan tetapi sekarang ianya agar pudar. Maybe because aku dah couldn’t careless sebab dah pemalas gila nak ambik tahu hal semua benda or maybe because most of my baju are gone. Aku tak tahu pergi mana.

And I was threated by emak saying that she would be more than delighted to throw and burn some of my baju and seluar because according to her they are obscene. I don’t understand which part yang obscene tah. Habis kalau tak pakai sluar pendek dekat rumah, nak pakai apa? Kainnnnnnnnnnnn?? Baik aku bogel ok sebab komfem akan tertanggal setiap 10 menet. Sluar panjang? Orang kaki tak sexy je pakai sluar panjang dalam rumah ok. Haha rasa nak lempang ke tak?

Oh shit. I am totally in a couldn’t careless condition. You should see my hair and my face. Kadang-kadang aku sendiri pon terkejut bila tengok dekat cermin like “who the fuck is that?” dan kemudian cari orang untuk jadi punching bag sebab rupa sendiri macam raksaksa.

Like the other day Yip asked me to go out for a drink. I really want to because I missed him but rambut aku sangat simba dan aku tak kuasa nak berbuat sesuatu kepadanya. Yet I did went out looking like a simba rambut basah to midvalley last week though, itu pon because emak wanted to buy some baju from ms read, and I was hoping that I won’t bump to anybody I know. Thank God I did not. And I am running out of my compact powder. The website yang aku selalu beli tu pulak run out of that piece of shit [shit yang I can't live without *sigh]. Nak beli brand lain tak tahu colourla pulakkkkkkkkk. Nak kene pegi counterla jugakkkkkk. Eeeeeeeeee.

Kalau aku nak beli compact powder loreal true colour yang baru tu boleh ke? Sebab tak payah pegi jauh2, dekat guardian je.

Hey apa sengih-sengih, penelope cruz pakai loreal ok!

Aku rasa dalam dunia ni memang ramai bitch. Ada bitch yang depan kau baik tapi blakang macam sial or ada jugak bitch yang depan macam sial blakang pon macam sial.
[Ye memang aku tengah ada unsur marah ni, nothing to do with the entry though]

Bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I hope your pussy will rot.
*cough. Please excuse me [although I hope the mentioned bitch read this]

Ok. Ehem.

But she [a friend of mine] is no bitch. So when she told me someone scribbled her car with the word bitch, I was shocked. If people scribble the word blur, phoebe or lost in space aku pahamlah kenapa but she and bitch? Really doesn’t walk hand in hand ok. And I can see that the scribble was really pissed off judging from the depth of the damage done.

The scribble. It was dark hence the not-so-clear picture.

I asked her what happened. Apparently, her bf ex had some grudge towards her.

Me: Kau ambik boyfriend dia ke?
She: Taklah. Dia yang tinggalkan mamat tu. Ni dah dua tahun lepas ok.

Me: Habis tu apsalla dia macam tu?
She: Manalah aku tauuu. Tapi dia memang gila lah.

Oh, the perempuan gila also punctured her tyres not once but twice . Scratched her car also not once but thrice. Not to mention threatening calls, missed calls and no-voice- calls till late night, or should say I say early in the morning.

Me: Mana kau tau dia?
She: Habis tu siapa lagi? Dah memang nombor dia yang kluar. Kau tau tak dia curi baju aku dekat dobi?

Me: Ha?
She: Yeee, aku mula-mula tak prasan tapi lama-lama baju aku makin sikit. Then one day, dia hantar mms gamba baju-baju aku tu ok.

Me: Macamna dia dapat baju kau?
She: Dia pergi dekat laundry aku tu and bribe macik laundry tu. Memang aku mengamukla bila macik tu kasi tau at last.

WTF? Curi baju orang dekat laundry?? Apa jadahhh.
Saiko ok. Saiko.

Ehem. Aku penahla rasa nak bakar kereta orang or tak pun pecahkan cermin tapi tak jadi sebab

1. Aku takut masuk jel
2. Aku takla saiko sampai nak buat betul-betul.

But this girl is a real psychopath. I mean, what type of person yang sanggup stalk orang sampai macam tu skali?

Gila takde life ok.

And according to my friend, she’s also a one ugly bitch.
Tsk. Not really a good combo isn’t it?