Bootylicious

Oh God. Something happened last night. I thought it was nothing.

This morning I woke up I feel weird.

Just got back from seeing the doctor.

He is sending me to the hospital.

Fuck!

Later.

1. Due to lacking self consciousness, my face is full of zits. Ugly zits. They hurts too, they are hurting my face and hurting my heart. Ha!
2. My eye bags are getting bigger and I look cuter than panda, thanks to my dark circle around my eyes. Anybody want to adopt a panda?
3. I now weight 34 kg, more heavier than a kambing. What’s more pathetic, all my sarung nangka skirts had made me seen as if I am competing for acara berlari dalam guni whenever I wear them.
4. I walked passed a barcode which is located in the same building as my office. Barcode’s door is made of glass so you can see your reflection and I can see my butt.Oh my.Bontotku sudah lenyap. Damn. No, I don’t have any pic’s of my bontot yang telah lenyap.
5. I had forgiven my ex, the one who forgot where he put his balls.
6. I’m still considering about the Jakarta trip this January. Jakarta, Bandung, Bali..sound tempting but my workloads are piling up.
7. Found my lost stila lipstick, along with a pot of rouge, an eyeshadow brush and my dongle. They are all for all this while crying under my bed. Poor babies, they must be damn scared under that murky place.
8. Oh, I also found my long lost feng shui ring. Used to wear it on my other finger but now had to wear it on my index finger. I am waiting for my luck to come. Hoho
9. Am spying on a fabulous shoes, will get it next month. Me likeyy.
10. Fire..fire..someone is playing with fire.Tempting but bahayaaaaaaa. [rhyme tak?:P]

Somewhere last week, my office had a Christmas party. We had turkey and pizza. Being the only one muslim, I was a bit reluctant to eat the turkey. Not because of the turkey shape or whatever but I was having doubts about the status of the turkey. Semebelih ke tak, siapa masakla..pakai minyak apa hu?Oven tu ada ke orang tu buat masak binatang-binatang lain?Euww. But I had my share anyway with the stuffing and cranberry sauce. The stuffing tasted funny though, it tasted like kapur barus. Don’t asked me how kapur barus taste but I just know.

Anyway, we had 3 new colleagues and one of them is Indian, who sat beside me. I used to tilt my head up from my cubicle and talked to my neighbour Nicole who is kind of cool and love to gossip and talked craps like but now that didn’t happen anymore.Nicole moved to other place already. I don’t have anything against her or her race really but there’s one thing she said made me not talking to her.

During the Christmas party I was telling my colleagues that I never had a real turkey except for turkey ham. And why the hell should I need a whole turkey for?Buat turkey masak lemak? Then the new colleague was telling me a story.

“You know, few years back my family invited some of our neighbours for Christmas party including the Malays. So we had turkey and all. We serve the turkey to the makciklah but they are so weird, you see. They asked for sambal belacan to eat with the turkey! I was thinking what kind of people eat turkey with sambal belacan and where to get sambal belacan at that time?” Oh, she was snorting when she said this and mind you, we had no alcoholic drinks coz eheh..everybody sort of respect me.

I was thinking to say something nasty because I was offended instead I just stared at her face and continued typing. No. No, shall not start a bitch fight at the office.

I mean hello, at the first place if they are that type of Malay, they wouldn’t even come to the Christmast party.Ape ke jadah nak sambut Christmast? And what’s wrong wanting sambal with turkey? Aku suke je sambal belacan. At least we are proud of who we are. The Malays who eat sambal. What’s wrong with that? You bloody tell melah!

I was angry not because I was ashamed that my race asked for sambal belacan to eat with turkey. Not at all. But I was angry because I simply hate racist.

Tengok..pagi-pagi dah emo..
Sheesh

It’s raining..and I’m working. The office is 3/4 empty but I’m sitting on my desk thinking wouldn’t it be nice to snuggle under my blanket at this moment.

Not going to happen, I know. Instead I have to pretend to be busy today. Hah!

Nway, last weekend, I was checking the mailbox [manala tau ada orang nak kasik surat dekat aku.Haha]only to find a flyer from a mamak stall. The thing is they stated EPL schedule which is not a big thing. Ni tapinye siap buat macam intisari rancangan. Hari sekian-sekian nak tayang sape lawan sape. I was sengih-sengih while reading the advert.”Big Screen TV”.It was not the cheap kind of flyers. Was made from some expensive hard paper, full coloured. Stok kalau kene hujan, masuk dalam longkang, gerenti tak basah.

Gigih sungguh mamak itu.

Then my bro told me about another mamak stall which is a supporter for Liverpool. Siapa masa game datang pakai jersey Liverpool, nanti dapat teh ais free. Haha, gile best.

Keji betul marketing diorang ni.

Nasib baikla rumah aku ada astro, tayah gi mamak.

Eceh, macamlah tengok bola pon.

Poyo.

You know one thing make me wondering is my cat M.J[Bukan Micheal Jackson ok]. Usually she is the social butterfly. She will go out and go lepaking and she will only return when it’s dark or she will have some sleepover somewhere else. Very stubborn cat she is, everytime when I want to manja with her and call her to my lap, she will throw me the ‘eksyen’ look and walk away or pretend that she’s busy licking her fur.But the lemak-ness smell of her perut make me want her more.

But recently something miracle happened. She didn’t even get out at all since Hari Raya. All she did was sit at home and she even jump to my lap, purring. Then guling-guling her body, allowing me to kiss her yummy perut.No more eksyen- eksyen. God, I sooo love her.

What happenlah? After thinking so hard I made my own conclusion. Perhaps in the cat’s society they have this thing like human. You know like badan polis, badan bomba and all sorts of pekerjaanlah.I mean they have their own bureaucracy. So I suspected that my M.J had committed a crime that she is now wanted by the police of cats. It’s like in human lifelah, if you commit a crime you wouldn’t want to go out in case the police find you and also you will feel insecure . That’s explain why she wants to manja-manja with me so much.

Revelent ke tak relevent?

Whatever it is M.J. Kakak loves you sooooooooooo much. Please don’t leave kakak alone.

Nanti kita main guling-guling lagi ok?

To all my human friends, Merry Christmast and Happy Holiday!