Two weeks ago my grandma held the annual kenduri kesyukuran to welcome Ramadhan.

I thought it was the usual big kenduri where my grandma will invite the whole hulu langat. Instead it was against the norm, only closed family members were invited. Everybody was surprised to see me there [and secretly, so do I :P]. The thing that really maddened me was none of my grown up cousins [I was the eldest] attended the kenduri, they all went pak tor with their boyfriends and even let they boyfriends picked them up even though they just live opposite my grandma’s and me.. can’t be doing that coz I want to please my mom, when actually nobody cared. One of few things that I do not wish to follow my mum is her concern to live upon people expectations.

I was left alone to mingle around with kids. Who talked about hip hop, underground band that I never heard of and forever non-stop making their ‘in’ jokes that nearly made me cry coz I can’t believe I was one of them!. Hello, I’m too old for that,ok.

Got nothing to do over there, really. Wanting to help cooking and preparing[haha, nice try]..But my grandma has her own maid and my aunties had their maid with them to my grandma’s house. So I was just someone who’s making smirking faces and listen to bibik sesame bibik conversations. After a while I get bored and start playing with my phone. Uh, and I found games services in my maxis service. Click on the virtual pet and start playing. I fed that thing, bath and some other stuff that a moron can think of. Oh, it’s not just a thing, I name it, coco as in coco chanel [haha]. I was not that fun but hey, it’s better than watching mawi on the telly [no offense]. Around 12 midnight, my bro was ready to go back to Shah Alam and I was more than happy.

Yesterday, the same feeling crept over me while I was waiting for my mum to finish her maghrib prayer in the car. I was bored. Was thinking to listen to the radio but it was azan so..you knowlah. Then only I remember about coco.

Clicked to virtual pet status.

Age:2
Fit:-1
Joy:-4

Pet is awake
()()
(#”)
(00,

Why…

()-()
(TT)
(00), R U so cruel!!
U din clean me,
And you starved me 2 death..

Oh shit. Oh shit.

Dengan bodohnye aku pegila click button feed, with full of guilt as if I forgot to feed my cats for over 1 week. This is the reply that I get.

-=I dun=-
mean
2 leave
you
*-but-*
my time
wif u
.:is up:.
-=take=-
“good”
care of
urself [celake, penatnye aku nak taip ikut skema sms ni].

No, this can’t be happening. Oh, perhaps I should give my pet medication.. so medicine, clicked and go.
The reply.. was still the same.

Fuck. I just starved my pet to death.
I killed my pet.

And moronly I feel bad and guilty.
Like soo bad..
I wish I wasn’t too occupied to feed it.
I wiash I wouldn’t be too selfish just to think of myself.

Padahal mende tu kenal aku pon tak..

Apa kene dengan aku ni wey??

I am not a people person. Besides my close friends and my boyfriend, I am more willingly to spend my time with my darlings’ cats. Rather be left alone than meeting up or making conversations with strangers.

I thought, why should I? I am pretty at ease with the fact that people calling me snob, hostile or whatever you can think of me, as if you know me that well. Life is too short to feel bothered by people’s remarks. Don’t you think so?

But you know, lately I was amazed by the fact that actually none of it is true.

I hadn’t got the chance to be online that much plus I was and still occupied with workloads that sometimes really pushed me to the limit. Hey no, I am not complaining, I love my job. It’s just that on a very terrible day a little short email or even sms from strangers can make a big difference.

Thanks to this blog, I met wonderful people that always form sunshine to my day. There’s this babe named puteree. Even though I only knew her for like few months but it seemed like I had known her for over a year. She’s funny, comforting but honest. I mean if something I told her not quite like she was having in mind, she told me off and I think that cool. They funny thing is, we never meet each other. Hey babe, I am glad to know you. Really.

And yesterday, I received few emails from this gentleman whom I used to chat online with. No, he’s not going after me or anything but he’s just being friendly because he’s a nice person. We used to correspond through email however, after sometime we lost connection. Not until last week when I remitted an email to bunch of people, forwarding some position I had in hands, which pretty much everybody on my emailing list was included. At the end of that email I wrote my full name which is myfullname ros kamal coz I was using my company’s email. After 1 week, he replied my email by saying “Is that you chics?” and he mentioned that he had been traveling for the past few weeks and haven’t got much chance to do almost anything.

I had a bad day yesterday at the office. Like really bad that I didn’t even talked back when my HR made fun of me[hah!]. But when his third email came he made me laugh real hard for the first time. It was just a simple email but to me it did help to loosen up my screws.

“Maybe I should call you mawar”

The last time that someone called me by the name of mawar is 15 years back who happened to be my music teacher. I mean, ros kamal is my father’s name, not mine. Actually people mistake that ros name all the time but it’s been quite sometimes when someone brought up that mawar thingy. So original

These people are just some of instances who always brighten my days with witty emails or smses. You know who you are. Thank you so much. You guys are cool!

Just don’t write me some corny erotic poems or giving me some email with something says like “can we meet up and make out”?
Moron. You definitely belong to the trash bin.

Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be having a bad mood today since ag is back at his office. He…is the reason I smile everyday.

Selamat pagi.

Penah dapat tonsilitis? I penah, takla banyak kali tapi penah. Macam hari ni, tonsil I sangat bengkak dan nak telan air liur pon susah. Dia macam ni tau, tiap kali I stress dan tak cukup rehat, I mesti kene tonsil. Mana tak stress you client I banyak songel lepas tu semenjak dua menjak ni badan I sakit-sakit. Nak kata I keje sebagai penebang kayu tak jugak, I pon tak paham. Dulu penah kene sampai tekak I bernanah. Sakit gile ok. Tu yang dari 45 kg terus turun 36 kg dalam masa 1 minggu tu. Sekarang badan pon dah panas tapi I tak boleh cuti sebab hari ni I ada meeting and kerja I berlambak. Kalau I cuti siapa nak siapkan kerja I.Besok pon tak boleh sebab I kene pergi Putrajaya ada client meeting.Tak boleh kensel, nanti susah nak reschedule.

I memang suke berpoye-poye tapi bila I bekerja I buat betul-betul sebab I percaya “give the very best in everything you do” .Sebab tulah bila berpoye-poye I berpoye-poye dengan bersungguh-sungguh, sampai tak nak balik and kene marah.Hehe

Tapi pagi tadi lagi stress. Mak I cakap dia mungkin nak duduk Jakarta sepanjang bulan puasa. Ayah I teringin nak makan masakan Malaysia masa bulan puasa. Habislah I, matilah nak kemas rumah, nak masak and nak pegi keje. Tapi rasanya I makan dalam kete je sebab jalan Damansara ni memang macam celako. Macam taun lepaslah, mak I pegi Jakarta jugak.Huru-hara ok.Sampai I deman-demam.

Lepas tu bertambah-tambah stress bila memikirkan entah-entah ayah I nak suruh kitorang sefamily berhari raya dekat Jakarta lagi.Tak naklah, tak best lansung.Tak acila.I dah tempah baju raya yang vogue the vast ok. Nanti jadi macam tahun lepas, pakai sluar pendek je sambil tengok HBO di pagi raya.Lepas tu petang pegi rumah Pak Yusa, driver ayah lepas tu makan makanan raya Indonesia. Tak bestlah, I nak rendang minang nenek I.Kejila pemikiran-pemikiran sebegini.

Tahi. Tiba-tiba rasa tak best.

Oklah you all.I nak check email I skejap.
You all buatlah keje rajin-rajin.

Tata [I tak boleh bagi muah muah nanti berjangkit kat you all]

Yeeee..Perasan tak aku dah lama tak mengamuk? Hahahaha.Guess what. Today is going to be the day I am going to make my luapan amukan. Sorry lah. Aku ingat nak tepon ag, tapi aku rasa dia tak larat dah nak layan crite crite amuk aku ni,so here it goes.

1. Bodoh punye client. Bukan clientla tapi HR die. Kalau kau tak baca email aku cakap jelah, janganla nak tipu-tipu.Sebab engkaula 12 candidate aku tak dapat pegi interview sekarang position tu dah close. Maknanya aku tak boleh place candidate. Bodohla engkau niiiiiiiiii..malas pulak tu.Cuba cakap skang, siapa cakap melayu je yang malas? Kau ingat suara kau lembut konon aku tak marah la ye?

2. Kenapa ramai orang yang tak tau baca instruction dalam dunia ni.Kalau aku cakap aku nak skill A dengan requirement B, ikutla..Kalau kau ade requirement FGHJ tak payahla apply.Lepas tu nak marah kenapa tak terpilih. Aku belasah jugak kau ni kang.

3. Aku benci bloodsuckers. Engkau kalau rasa tak boleh nak pegi dgn gaya hidup mewah settlela dengan gaya hidup yang kau mampu. Ni tak, nak buat rumah, nak beli kete, nak itu, nak ini.Lepas tu mintak duit bapak aku la plak.Kau ingat bapak aku ni pegi keje jauh-jauh sebab nak bagi korang seme duit ke? Kau tau tak aku sedih bila bapak aku keje jauh, aku rindu bapak aku. Ada ke korang pedulik, haa lepas tu bila bapak aku balik tiba-tiba nampak je muka sesekor. Hoih, mak aku pon dah bertaun tak tuka kete tau, pakai je kete buruk tu.Aku ni haaaaaaa..lagila sekarang takde kete dah, bagi adik aku pakai. Taikla korang ni.

4. Dah nak raya tapi perut aku buncit jugak.Macamana la niii..Baru ingat nak jogging tapi puasa la pulak.Nak buat sit up macam tak dapat sebab dah dua hari kaki aku sakit.Apa ntah yang aku buat weekends ni.Haaa..cakap pasal raya ad eke mak aku suruh aku bagi duit araya dekat bloodsuckers?Hoih..Apahal?????????????????????????

5. Okla.baik aku benti seblum boss aku plak yang buat luapan amukan.

Dah.tata

I am thinking to make an appointment with my dentist. Her name is Dr.Sharina. Haha. How weird is that?

Considering going for scaling. And maybe later polishing. You know, I was watching parent trap where they had small version of Lindsay Lohan. Freckled face, small boobs, chipped yellowish teeth but walla today she’s a bomb with flashing white teeth that make me drool for her.

The problem is..I’m kinda scared of the idea going to the dentist. You know all gadgets that they used. Especially the cleaning gadget, the one that make the “tttzzzzz” sound as they polish or drill your teeth, the same time your lips tremble because that horrifying machine is damn hot too. Possibility to get your luscious lips burn is there. You might have clean looking teeth but what’s the purpose if your lips look like some burn fish lips. Think Melanie Griffith and her wrinkles [aah] and imagine the blood..after you gargle..Uhhhh.Scary.

By the way, do you guys have this campaign in primary, where the school invited dentist and nurses to teach you how to brush your teeth? Hah, I tell you, I was amazed by the big teeth replica rather than what they taught us. It’s like woow..can I touch them? Anyway, when I think of it now, it’s kind of disgusting. I mean you sat next to your crush and brushed your teeth together while giggling with your girlfriend on the other side. How cool is that? I still remember my toothbrush, it’s red with soft bristles.

During secondary, I love it when the dentist visited the school because it meant that we can skip class and haha the whole period after that. Still can remember they used this brownish card with teeth diagram, some marked with “x”. Never know what did that meant until now. I was also fascinated with braces. I used to think that people with colourful braces were cool. Like, hah I’m sooo cool, I have silver teeth that made me look like terminator. I even begged my mom to get me braces but she said I don’t need them. I even begged her harder during my asasi years after my friend, Sarah told me that her dentist was such a cutie. Yet, I failed again.

I also think that people with prominent fangs are cool. Not cool actually but sexy.

I think being a dentist is something difficult. Not the study [of coursela the study part is difficult] but the part when you have to inspect people mouth. Hoh, what if that person has bad breath or rotten teeth? Oh no. If I become a dentist a lot of people are going to suffer. Big time. I mean how could you let an accident prone chic like me handle your teeth. I might drill your gums accidentally. So be thankful for that, ok people?

Nyway, should I or should I not allow that frightful machine gets near my mouth?
What if that doctor turned out to be like me?
It would be an excruciating experience isn’t it but ..on the other side..think..Lindsay Lohan..

Hmm..tricky.