Berhenti Berharap
Aku tak percaya lagi
Dengan apa yang kau beri
Aku terdampar disini
Tersudut menunggu mati
Aku tak percaya lagi
Akan guna matahari
Yang dulu mampu terangi
Sudut gelap hati ini
Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampe nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat
Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan
Aku pulang….
Tanpa dendam….
Ku terima…
kekalahanku…
Aku pulang…
Tanpa dendam…
Kusalut kan ..
kemenanganmu…
Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukkan aku derita
Kau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita..
Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat..
Lyn made me listen to this song.It’s so..made it through my heart. She said she’s been hearing this song since the day she got dumped.It’s sad..yes i know but i told Lyn that she should chuck away this type of song. I told her to listen to gurl power type of song instead. I even made her to see the guy who has been wooing on her.
I choose to move on and try not to think of what had happen. When i told Lisa about my story, she said if she was in my shoes she would commit suicide. Well, if life is so easy..I think everybody would do that. Why would i commit suicide? I have my parents and my friends who really care about me so much. Yesterday i was so touch when Dila told me, that Yip who now is in UK told her to take a good care of me. And my mom..Even we fought like..almost of the time, but she did really give her best support..she even cried along with me when i told her that how much i missed him and how i wish he would be man.
I will stop hoping and move on. My life is not only about him. There is alot of beautiful things out there waiting to be unfold. I shall not wait for him and stop wishing that he would be a man but if he did..i will always be here for him.
Hhohhohoho.Aku kat ofis skarang.Obviously dgn mata bengkak. Hari ni bile aku masuk office takde sape nak tegur aku..pasal muka aku mcm orang baru mati laki..Oh..which is so true.
So tell me.Apa aku nak buat dgn hidup aku skrang?I have to replan everything in my life.Ok, i’ve started dating someone already.Oppss..siapa yg kata too fast tu?Kau ingat aku tak denga ye??Then , if i don’t do that..what am i suppose to do?Wait for that fuckering faggot? I dun think so.I also..dyed my hair black..bought a new retro looking spec and hahaha..cut my fingernails. Makcik..SAYA DAH POTONG KUKU..er..enuff of that.I tell you, aku gile nampak lain skrang.Nampak mcm orang lost..or identity crisis is more like it.Hhahahahaha
Tell me..tell me la..what the hell am i suppose to do today?Pauline si kecoh tu tak dtg..takde sape nak menceriakan hari2 aku..sob..sob.Nak buat keje macam malas gile.Aku rasa nak amik mclah pasal mata aku mcm merah semacam je..hahaha..best tak alasan?? Tapi takpe..hari ni nak tgk PGL lagi..I love that movie.Hari tu tgk dgn faggot tapi hari ni tgk dgn org lain.Yeyeye..I dunno why but somehow hang tuah in that movie remind me of my ex sbb hang tuah dlm tu bongok.Nama je hang tuah tapi hehe..mcm takde telur–>ni mak aku yg cakap..lelaki mcm tu takde telur.
U know what i am going to do?I am going to move on..and yeah.. i’m definetely going for cute-looking-super duper rich guy after this.
Tak mainla orang kampung.
p.s: i obviously trying too hard here,but i dun give a fuck.
Have you ever face a situation when you nearly get something that you really want but then it just slipped away in a blink?Well..Tell me more about it.
I just lost the person that is so significant in my life.I love him with all my heart..i love him so much. All i did to him was shower him with my love, give all the confident and give all the best i have to him but i guess my appearance blinded everyone else. Just because i’m modernly dress, just because i am not pretentious his parents refused to come up to my parents eventhough there was a promised made. The reason that the parents can’t accept me was..coz i have long finger nails and my eyebrow are neatly plucked.What the fuck??
To me it was only excuses. I thought my guy would stand for me but he was not strong enough. Eventhough he cried over the phone saying how much he loved me and all but..he has no guts to do anything.
My parents in other hand is so supportive. Eventhough my dad was smartly dressed waiting for his parents to come and at the end they did not but after that he pretended like nothing happen. And my mum made it look like she cooked everything as if she was cooking for all of us instead of for some guest who were supposed to come.It killed me so much to see them like that..
All i did for this past few days was crying. I just can’t beleive what had happen. And today, even though it’s a working day i’m sitting at home, typing and try to think what had i done wrong. Maybe i love him sooo much and that’s a sin. Maybe i should not have forgive him for all the bad things that he had done to me before.
Samsul Kahar,
I understand your situation. I just hope you would stand out for what you want instead of being a coward. A faggot. Don’t worry, you don’t need to do anything.Instead i will. I hope your parents will be happy coz i’m going away soon.Away from home and away from you.I wish you all the best and please, dun try to fall in love with any gurl anymore, knowing that your mum will never approved them. Just listen to your mother as you always did.
Don’t ask me what am i going to do with my life because from now on..there’s no more us. It’s just me..and my self.
