My bf didn’t come yesterday. I guess he was too worn out after a day of working. At first it sort of drive me mad but then..ehe I sort of enjoyed it. Had my whole time getting wasted with friends. Stoned and went on switching channels on the TV not forgetting to finish all the food we had in the kitchen. When I woke up this morning, my house look like..a dumpster? arghh..should be doing some cleaning after this..and today, yamyam asked me to go for a movie..hmm..i just dun feel like watching a movie..i even dun feel like seeing him tonight..i wonder why..
My ex somehow manage to find this site of mine which really flabbergasted ..he’s not the type who like to take much interest in my activity towards virtual world.But uh..nevermind..This is a free country anyway.
I think I’m tired of having a boyfriend. Tired of having a guy that boss around without knowing what I want without me telling them (there’s nothing wrong with this right?). I want my man to read my mind coz I always do and it did make him happy. But still..i love to be pampered all the time..hihih
Having a boyfriend means I have to behave more courteous and it doesn’t matter if he don’t coz he know that I dun care. He can go farting whenever he wants..Go out with his friends and do whatever guys do..to sum it in a word..He still have his independence.. I, in the other hand are supposed to listen to him..and whenever I don’t, he’ll say
“U never listens to me!!”
Oh..are girlfriends supposed to listen to what their boyfriends order? Hummm..go figure!
Oh man..it’s making me tired already..
Hmm..maybe I should start liking girls from now onwards(like I don’t)..hahahaha
Yesterday, had a deep talk with yamyam about settling down and everything. He then told me to meet his mom.Well, it’s quite weird though, he meet my mom like..every week and I never meet his’. I have no problem on meeting new people, seriously, even I know I am not a favorite among ‘emak-emak’. But when he say something…I feel totally..scared??
He:I need u to do me a favor when seeing my mom. Can u please wear tudung?
Me:Eh?
He:Sekali je,please..
I have no issues in wearing tudung. I can wear it anytime, properly and I respect people who wear them properly, not as a fashion statement. Seriously, but my man now wants me to pretend as someone I am not. To me wearing tudung is like..something virtue..U dun wear it one day and take it off another day. No, that’s not the way. If u want to wear it, wear it properly and should never be taken off. Hmm..I can obey to his order..but imagine this..i wear tudung to see his family and the next day someone saw me in my short skirt..what’s the point? What will his family say then?
I promised him I will wear tudung when the time comes but the time is not now..Ehe..Actually my bf has already unleashed the real of him to me. He used to say that he didn’t mind my way of living. Didn’t mind if I go missing at night or whatever me and my girlfriends do. But now..urm..he is nothing like he used to describe to me. Me in the other hand still remain the same..except I rarely party now..and try not to smile or talk nicely to super duper cute guy..hehe
Humm..i dunno if I should listen to my bf.I really want to but..i just hate hypocratism..i hate people who pretend. I never told him how to act or how to dress on seeing my family because I want him to be accepted as the way he is..And now..if I start pretending..i will have to pretend..like forever..Uhhh..scaarrrrryyy..
Had my first and second paper today.All I can say is..aaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..Fucking tutorial.Apsal kau tak kuar?Tau tak aku tak blaja lain2 mende selain tutorial???
I am screwed. Maybe I should go and see Yamani and beg for his mercy. Oh no..He hates he..He hates me sooo much. He always make an effort to find something to ask me whenever I’m doing my presentation even though it’s already being clarified earlier.
“How is quantum bit being represented?”
“Quaternary”
“Are u sure? Really, really sure?”, with his icky brow and sarcastic smile..arghh
And just now he went back and forth at the table I’m sitting, looking at my ID,fidgeting at my slip and asking me questions which he should be asking like 3 months ago.And I was like..covering my answer script..Demn..
Ehe..yeah, I might be his laughing stock. Whatever..
For the past few days I was totally.. Disorganised. Hardly sleep or eat.. I don’t go out with friends, keep yelling at my bf..And began to neglect my self. I was totally sloppy and today extra sloppy..(Oh ,my ..what a crime).I thought I can really do well in that paper since i did my part of studying but somehow I was like.. Frusfurated. Can’t manage not to pass. I can’t wait to get my ass out of this place, I’m getting worn out of studying something that I dun even have a speck of interest in it.
Can’t wait till Friday. My final paper ..and time to chill..party..wild..wild party!!
But then I still have a plea to make..
p.s:Happy birthday,mom..Luv u!
and yamyam start his first day at JPM
today..baru 1st day keje dah meeting..
Asyik meeting je..benci!
