33 minutes past midnite..it’s merdeka day..amazingly chics stay at home tonight.Not that I was grounded or something but instead I sort of found freedom by staying home.I guess tonight thousand of Malaysian seeked for their meaning of ‘merdeka’.Some might be flooding all the celebration places or some might…passed out..hehe..This is a free country isn’t it?a country of freedom..so it’s your choice how to express your gratitude to ermm…whoever you think you should thank to.
As I was standing in my shorts and baby t, watching very very beautiful fireworks ruptured in the sky for all sudden I feel kinda inexplicable feeling inside..i feel peaceful and perhaps harmony.probobly because the sky was so beautiful or presumably because all my neighbors were joining me with their ooh and aaahhs.Even it was raining, I can see it all clearly but some faces are missing..my family and some people that I just can’t stop thinking about tonight.
Lately I kinda try to avoid seeing my parents.Usually I will never fail to reached home on every Friday evening,Saturday morning was the least but lately..ermm..i’m full with excuses. It’s not that I hate them(no, that never came across my mind) it just that..i dunno..i just feel more happy to spent my time with friends rather been left alone here.
And tonight I feel lost.. I feel that I lost my sense of loving someone that I adore for almost 6 years. He used to be my light and my life but now..tonight I feel the other way around. Maybe he should come back and be by my side like old time..holding me and tell me that he WILL NEVER LEAVE me. I hate when I missed him..I hate it when I cry,thinking about him but mostly I hate it when I have to convince my self that we can still stay together.. Even I know that I was deceiving myself. I wish he could just understand..that I really love him but he’s no longer in my heart..
