So last week I went for the one of the most dreaded procedure by anyone who is trying to conceive, hysterosalpingogram or HSG.
“A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile).”
Why did I dread it?
“During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes.”
I think the brief description is enough to explain my fear.
I don’t have any problem putting things into the vajayjay. I mean, I am married and have gone through pap smear but the idea of putting something into the uterus and followed by some dye injection?
I had been contemplating for months whether to go for it while I was back in Shah Alam. Pain is one thing but from what I read, some women could not even walk properly after that because it was damn painful. I mean, I will be driving and dragging myself to the hospital alone. Asking people to teman me is out of the question.
But I went with it. Because that’s what I have to do.
I figured out if I cannot walk or drive, I would just take all the time that I need and just relax at the hospital lounge. And oh. perhaps I should take some painkillers before the procedure.
Bringing the referral letter from a clinic [you have to have the referral letter!] I arrived at KPJ Selangor Radiology department. Waited for about 10 minutes and was called into the X Ray room. As I walked inside I began to question my decision.
Do I really need this? What if it’s fucking hurt?
I did asked the nurse/assistant whether it will hurt or not. She replied ” A bit”
Oh shit, for her it might be a bit but for me, it could be a bitch.
I was told to change into a robe that I found could be interesting looking if you tie it in a different way. And oh, everything off expect the bra. After that I was told to lie down on the table that look not much different like an operating table or those that I saw on tv, to place dead body.
I know right, who the fuck died from HSG. But hey, this is chicsinred’s imagination. Heh
The assistant/nurse asked me the first day of my shark day and whether or not I had any intercourse prior to the HSG procedure – I am not supposed to have any. I was also asked whether I had asthma [I do] and whether I am allergic to seafood. I am tolerant to small amount so it should be fine.
And then the Dr came, a lady Dr, thank God.
I don’t really like the idea of a male doctor looking at my vagina and probably making a mental comparison between mine and his spouse or whatever. I know this is highly unlikely but still I don’t think I will be comfortable.
While I was still lying down, I could see her and the assistant preparing the instruments for the procedure. I’ve seen the speculum before so I still feel calm but not so calm when I saw this
To scare you even more, let’s take a closer look at the head
Right there and then, I feel like running to the changing room to collect my panties and go home.
But I did not, instead I told myself not to look at them and recite whatever I could think of at that moment.
I thought I was going to lie down at the same spot all the way into the procedure but no. The Dr asked me to move closer to her, spread my legs and well, you know the spread the legs positions.
And then she began to do her thing.
As she did that, I started to do the breath of fire breathing techniques that I use in yoga class, it always help me to focus and deter my mind from wandering around. Although it did help me, I cannot help feeling like I am in some kind of maintenance procedure, seeing the instruments that keep going into my vajayjay. It feels like when I am trying to fix the pipe or something except this time, I was the pipe, not the fixer.
There was a little pain and then before I could think about it the dr said, “ok”
Oh, that was fast, I though. I wanted to get up but then the assistant interrupted me
“Puan, belum lagi, tu baru masukkan tube je”
Chics kalau menyusur akar [atau disusur vajyajay], tidak akan hilang gelupurnya.
So I had to remain down, this time with legs straight on the table.
So yes, the breath of fire again, this time I try to concentrate to one spot above me and then I could feel it. The dye seeping inside of me. Which is weird because they say it is supposed to replicate semen but I could never feel any semen moving inside me [wtf?].
The assistant keep taking the x ray and I tried looking. But all I could see was .. I have no idea. Some cloudy shit with some black moving thingy.
And then it came.
The pain. It was initially ok until.. until I have to let out a little scream
“Ya Allah sakitnya, nak balikkla boleh takk??”
It was a pain that I’ve never feel before. True that I have experienced period pain but this one, It’s like period pain + sharp kicking pain.
The pain stopped and I asked the assistant lama lagi ke dik? because if it is, fuck me. I am not going to wait for it to happen again. And then it hit me, this is only HSG belum lagi sakit nak bersalin ke apa ni. Maybe this is the reason why I am childless until now. Mungkin I will murder someone within my reach if I have to endure labour pain.
But the assistant said, kejap je lagi puan kejappp je.
True enough, few seconds later it was over and the pain was totally gone.
She told me I could lie down a little longer to catch my breath or at least until the pain subside. But to be honest, there was no more pain . Not sure whether it was the actifast that I took prior to the procedure or something else but I feel absolutely fine.
So fine until I could drive myself to have nasi padang for lunch straight away from the hospital. Hehe.
Just some minor bleeding, the dye came pouring down while I was queuing up for food. Thankfully I listened to the nurse and put on a sanitary pad while getting dress. I changed to menstrual cup for zuhur prayer and I found something interesting. As I was cleaning the cup later for asar, I could feel some sand-ish thingy in the cup as well. Could that be debris that has been flushed out from my tubes? The spotting continues up to 3 days. Should there be any fever, I would have go to the doctor immediately but I did not because I feel fine.
Other than that, everything is A-ok. No block tubes, no scar tissues.
From 1 to 10, I would rate as 3 in terms of pain.
But I guess it depends on your condition.