I avoided talking to strangers on IM for as long as I can remember but yesterday I changed it. I talked to someone new. Well not really new, he has been trying to make a conversation with me since tak ingat bila bila I keep ignoring because..well I just don’t feel like talking to strangers.
So we started all over again and we talked.
Halfway I realised I sounded like a fake.
I mean, the facts about me don’t make sense.
Ok, first I only have half of my face on the IM. And then I told him I am self employed, tapi adalah post grad from comms line and masa degree belajar A.I.
My first job was at a recruitment company, and now I am a baker.
Like WTH? Betul ke kau ada semua paper qualification semua tu tapi last-last keje masak kek je dekat rumahhhhhhhhh?
I haven’t traveled much – have not been to UK, Australia, China bla..blaa but went to Sri Lanka and Maldives.
My father worked outside of the country and one of them is Papua New Guinea.
Semua macam nak exotic dan tak masuk akal je kan, nampak nau menipuuuu.
But the things is, they were not fibs at all.
You know, the moment when someone reply I see or Ic so many times indicates that either he is bored with you or occupied with something else. I learn to pick this up while talking to my exes online.
So when the other person keep replying the same notation, I couldn’t help thinking, am I that boring? Or is it because he think I am a fake?
It could be I am boring – especially when I refused to tell him my vital stats [ why would anyone want to know about my vital stat anyway? Ini bukan pertandingan dewi remaja!] But I didn’t think I was a bore during that conversation so perhaps it was because he thought I was a fake.
Or maybe dia rasa menyampah dekat aku sebab asal je dia tulis Wow aku akan cakap eh takdela, nothing extraordinary. Nampak macam celaka sebab konon-konon aku nak low profile.
Masalahnya, memangla takde yang extraordinary pun so aku cakapla betul-betul. Lainla kalau aku angkasawan ke apa [ini pun, kalau aku dah jadi angkasawan mesti aku rasa ala takde apa sangat. Ewah cakappp, cuba jadi sikit, satu shah alam kau canang]
Anyway, this made me think. Maybe dalam dunia ni banyak sangat orang menipu sampai we cannot differentiate anymore between the truth and deception. We tend to be more skeptical. Sampai kadang-kadang benda yang depan mata pun kita masih nak skeptical.
I know I am one of them.
It is sad if I think about it.
But then again,kalau tak skeptical, hati sendiri yang cedera, bukan begitu?

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